Category Archives: Heartspeak
Matter
23rd July 2012 I would never be able to explain it to anybody, including myself, how much it helps, writing a blog post at the most vulnerable times of my life. The only way I can ever express myself is by typing my heart out right here, away from every human eyes. So what happened […]
That emotional intimacy issue…
Update dt 3-Jun-2012 – This is a rant. — Its about 1.30 am, in exactly 12.5 hours I am required to present my Business Plan at our 10000 women program, in front of a special panel. My B-plan is not even 40% complete. And yet I am on this blog. I am here because I […]
The heart is not where the dick is
The heart is so not where my dick is. If I were a man, I would have said that about my current situation. So change the ‘vital instrument’ to something more befitting my gender, but you get my point right? I don’t know what else to call this but love and I just feel so […]
Alone and alive (Final Chapter of Book of Romance-Part 1)
This blog is back in action with its original content, feelings and emotions from the bottom of my heart, bare truth for the world to read. I spent all of 2010 and 2011 so far worrying over the fact that everybody who knew me in real life, all the friends, the family members, colleagues, read […]
Boats on the water, not steps on the ladder
The greatest tragedy of my life is that my parents and my nearest and dearest family don’t understand what do I do in life, who am I. Since they don’t know, from there it follows, they are not proud of me, not particularly ashamed but not proud to the extent that when it comes to […]
Hello again, life
You know what they say about professionalism, that you cannot be personal. The last few months, in fact the whole year I barely blogged, whatever I did write, like updates on my professional life, my new entrepreneurial venture, some of my interviews that got published on other blogs, none of these were really stuff that […]
Tag this one as dark, depress, scream
“A 100 years from now, who are you to be, reading me with curiosity?” ~ Rabindra Nath Tagore If I could paint I would make a painting. Four walls and me, leaning on a corner, screaming. Scream till I lose my voice. Just scream. On the final day, when all of this will be over, […]
Hope is the fool’s greatest dream, but is there another way?
The first part of this post is inspired by Child King’s Return from Exile. The second part is a follow up to my previous post ‘This is what Hope does.’ Part 1 The news has reached the purple sea, child king has picked up the brush and is about make a new painting. Kaefen, the […]
This is what hope does
Year 2004 I had once fallen in love with a man who I never met. I was in my early 20s, Munish had just started distancing himself from me for reasons completely unknown to me. He behaved rudely with me in public, said things to hurt me often. He was a different person altogether. I […]
Love is not your bailout
You will know when you will meet your soul mate, you’ll just know. There’s no way you’ll be wondering, “Is this my soul mate?” A soul mate is a part of you which you didn’t even know exist, which was lost but you didn’t realize until you found it. Like sometimes while moving your furniture […]
The chase: The First date
Update: 17th May 2010 – I had earlier kept this post in private mode making it public today, because enough time has passed and that guy didn’t ask me for a second date and now I don’t think I am going to see him again. This is a follow up to my previous post ‘The […]
Information Overload
Frequency of post on this blog has gone down so miserably because too many people are now reading it. It has always remained a personal blog where I used to write all my deepest feelings. But not any more. Now, recently I went out on a date. Like a proper date. The most obvious thing […]
The search, the chase and the soulmate
I don’t know if its a coincidence or not but I happen to write whenever it pours unexpectedly and beautifully in the National Capital. And these writings always come in mind while I am coming home from work. In 2005, I used to work in Nehru Place, I thought of this post while sitting in […]
Happy New Year, that dream is still there
And just like that the year 2009 went by. Exactly the same way went ’07 and ’08 with the blink of an eye, leaving me behind with many exciting moments, many reasons to smile, many moments of pride and success, and some same old blank sheets, and that same old yet to realize dream. TED […]
A star was born
[Scene - I, 22nd Jan 1977, Jalpaiguri a small town in north West Bengal] She spent all of last night sobbing in his arms. “The doctor said 21st is the date but I never had a labour pain. And now the baby has even stopped moving. Some thing must be wrong with the baby, I […]
If you were a poet, would you write a song for me?
I asked, to someone I had a casual sex with, “Do you ever think about me?” He is also a friend, actually first a friend, the sex was like really casual and I am not even thinking of making it a regular activity, not because he wasn’t good, he was, but because sex can’t hold […]
Long time no incoherence
Dr. Motion accused me of paying more attention to Mutiny and extending step motherly attitude to TIMT. Well she is right. Blogging has not been really happening the way it used to be 3 years back. There is no particular reason for it. I just don’t feel so much anymore to be expressed. I feel […]
On Random matters of the heart
[Moving on to what I usually write on this blog. I will keep updating the post on Hajra with new information.] A lot of my male friends often tell me, after having broken a girl’s heart, “I always told her there can be no future with me still she had built hope, what to do.” […]
This life…This arbit life
The google talk encountered an unexpected error. All chat windows shut down. I opened another IE window, typed wordpress.com hit enter. The hourglass appears and I am thinking ‘wordpress’ rhymes with ‘depress’. I am loooking at a blue corner, where the two walls of my cubicle meet. The lights in this cubicle are the same […]
My 3rd Rejection
Updated on 1-Oct-09 – “Expired post. I can’t relate to these emotions anymore.” —————————— In all my life so far there have been 3 lucky men to whom I have expressed my feelings and quite fortunately have been rejected by, now when I look back, “what was I thinking?” To the 1st one I had […]
Protected: Pages from the old diaries
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
It happened on one summer afternoon
It was some kind of event, but I don’t exactly remember what. I was with a group of people and we had all gone for an adventurous hiking through some exotic locales. There were wild animals, pretty flowers, nice people. I knew I was going to meet him on this journey. I just knew it. […]
Of date, dent and dentistry-I
Cranky old man who doesn’t look so old yet yells, “where is my lungi (traditional Indian men’s wrap around), just where is it?” Equally cranky but not so old woman yells back, “I have put it for Laundry.” Old man confused, asks, “What do you mean ‘put it for laundry’, it has either been washed […]
A break is a break up
A lot of things have happened in the recent past, some never before incidents. All of them together has made me write a thousand words with many emotions, I cringed a thousand times too to express them all but I couldn’t. I am now going into a long silence, I just can’t express what I […]
Life in Bangalore: On newly found independence
Been a year and a month in Bangalore. Time flew by indeed and I have finally begin to feel I am settled here, only thing I miss is my car. I always wanted to have a car because it gives me a tremendous feeling of independence. As if those are not wheels but wings. I […]
Happy Birthday – 3 Aquarians
Left to Right: Snigs, Kreeti and Me at Pecos, Church Street, Bangalore ————– They say sunsigns are all bull shit. But I think it has to be too much of a coincidence that it was this bunch of 3 intelligent, smart, whacky, eccentric and super sexy aquarians that has together done some of the greatest […]
hmm
It’s been so long I didn’t write a poem. I don’t write much from the heart these days, don’t feel anything actually. Life is going great if you see except that am in my 31st year and still single. There has to be a reason behind this. It cannot be a coincidence. All these years […]
Camping for love
Camping for loveOriginally uploaded by Jace BCB5 Participant Speak Participant # 1 – Hi What collective are you in? Participant # 2 – Oh I am in ‘I found my wife at BCB Collective’ Vinayak Das found his wife Snigdha Sheel (my childhood friend, my eccentric crazy friend cum almost wife) and I found a […]
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