Feelings Yesterday:-

If I knew that was the last time, I would have at least hugged him closer and longer
The search has come to an end not because she found it but because she has let it go, and its so much better now.

No more worries, no pain
no questions no answers,
no hopes no expectations.
Am I dressed properly?
am I giving out the right message?
Was I able to leave an impression?
Is he going to call?
should I call him?
Does he like me?
Are we ever gonna meet again?

Stop asking, forget everything, Just Fly
Fly Fly away my soul.

Feelings Today:-

It was a rain not many in Delhi will forget in some time to come. I left my Nehru Place office at 8.50pm. It was pouring like hundreds of showers in a Bollywood set would pour when the white saree tries to seduce a white shirt “tip tip barsa pani…”

I hate carrying umbrella but our office guard lent me one. A big black grandpa’s umbrella. I walked upto the busstop to get an auto. At this point I was missing the presence of a wiper on my specs. Luckily found an auto soon “bhayai R.K. Puram”. “R.K. Puram mein kahan?” Asked the auto driver.

I hate that question they ask, like it would matter to him, he is going to quote double the meter anyways, so why bother. We are still somehow programed to answer, so I said, “Sector-4”

The bhayia’s chin and eyes then rolled in a semi circular shape while he said, “Madam 50 rupaye…itni baarish hai, gaadi ki halat kharab jo jati hai…”

Interrupting him I said “chalo chalo bhaiya.” in annoyance and I was on board.

These days they have blurring music on autos. His music was loud bot not noisy…it was some unknown Asha Kishore song from the yester years. Suddenly a Sharmila Tagore clad in pink shiffon saree with big white flower prints on it danced along a Rajesh Khanna in my mind. And Suddenly I felt good about everything around me.

The big and small cars crossed by splashing water all over me (almost) but it didn’t irritate me. The darkness of the night suddenly seemed to be so colourful to me. Billions of thin water blades falling at 60 degree angles shining in the street lights made it so beatiful. I have always heard rains make you long for someone, makes you nostalgic but today’s rain was so beautiful it gave me joy. I smiled.

And when I was paying him that 50 bucks, I agreed to pay rather unwillingly, I wanted to tell him “bhaiyai thanks for a great ride. I enjoyed it” I did not though. That’s me, can’t communicate. I can only blog.