I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…I wanna leave…

Take me away from here pleassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssse.

Sanjay today told me “you are a lawyer, how come you people are buying a flat in Khirki Extention“. I wanted to bury myself in shame at that statement.

Dad would buy a flat in Khirki Extention. He would make the full and final payment and not want to see a single papers of the flat. And I can’t ask why? Every time I say something there is a big drama in the house. This is going on for the past 4-5 months now. Even if I want, I can’t keep my fucking mouth, which talks of the legal implications all the time, shut and his ego can’t stand his daughter asking questions.

I am told to keep the hell out of the whole issue its none of my damn business.

More than half of the payment has already been made relying upon the builder’s word. The other day the builder called up, “Arre aap paise leke kab aayenge hum ne to tenent rakh liya hai…saturday to shif kar jaayenge tenent” The builder would decide upon who is the tenent, how much rent would we get, when would the tenent shift. I can’t talk about having a proper verification of the tenent being done. “How much security money are we getting?” The damn me asked. “There is no security money. That’s how it works in khirki extention. The builder told me.” is what dad answered me. I had an argument on this day before yesterday. “How can you not talk about security money. Everybody takes it.” Dad got irritated and went to see the builder to call off the tenancy idea. Apparently the builder was pissed off at Dad’s change of mind and said things like, “aap ne to humein be ijjat kar diya, aap hi ne to bolatha kiraya pe chadana hai, aap ka to koi baat ka kuch value hi nahi hai.” Dad came back home fuming at me, I am responsible for all the bad things the builder told him. Such nice couple they were who wanted to take the flat on rent. Such nice and honest is the builder and dad had to let them down all because of my fucking mind which looks at innocent people with suspicion.

When I came back from work today I heard that tomorrow the full and final payment would be done. This bloody mouth had to speak out “have you seen the title deeds?” what about the papers?” “Papers are only given once the payment is done” came the answer. “How many houses have you bought and sold dad?” I was calm. “Shut up. Like you know a hell lot of it.” yelled dad.

Earlier, I had once said just as a passing thought, I can have a chamber in that flat. “You don’t know anything, you are incapable of having a chamber.”

I can’t take the disrespect he shows to me. I wanna be out of this house. I wanna leave Delhi. I will go to bombay and do mazdoori, i would break patthar, I would beg. I am leaving delhi whether or not I get a job in Bombay.

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Damn I can’t leave right away….My friend needs me desperately…

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