Coming outta that dream world………

Lemme talk bout the first man in my life whom I have looked at and felt he can be the one I can spent the rest of my life with. No, not in love yet, no butterflies in stomach or anywhere either, just find him special. If there is anything called “liked a lot at first sight” its that. Just known him for 2 months now, but we happen to connect great we both like each other. What next?

I don’t know. Ideally I would want to be into a realtionship, a commitment, see each other for couple of months and then may be ask him “where are we going?” At the moment would want to be a little more than just friends….. But then we want so many things in life, how many do we get, and we only get what we are destined to……..

A good friend common to both of us have been giving him these hints bout what I have in mind, hints to such extent that even a donkey would know who is she talking bout….

him – tell me who is she
my friend – She is one of x y and z
him – is it x
my friend – No its certainly not x
him – and it certainly can’t be y
my friend – then who is left?
him – [silence]

Tell me do you still need to hear it from me. Why do you wanna know? What will you do? Did you ever ask the sun who does it shines for… long for the warmth of sunshine, you go get it.

I have faced rejection thrice. Twice at my face, once through one common friend. All petty crushes, I got over too soon, but what I felt while being rejected was too painful. I carry all my baggages with me. I act apprehensively. Men, I have been romantically inclined towards, have only hurt me. Most of them are too coward to face the girl from yesterday and I hate loosing friends…. I don’t want to loose your friendship.

Sometimes a man can be very shy he doesn’t wants to make the first move, then the girl makes the first move, he makes the second and they move on. Then there are other times when a man doesn’t wanna make any move at all because he have got nothing to do with her or her feelings for him, but he would still wanna hear it from her mouth just cause it boosts there ego. I don’t know which kind are you. You are too secretive about yourself and I don’t wanna take a risk…No am not such a dare devil.

Every incident in my life alters one of my traits forever. Rejections made my feelings for someone reciprocative. I might have feelings for someone cause he said he have them for me. In those rare occassion when it doesn’t have to be reciprocative, when I myself tend to like someone I try being extremely secretive about it. Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts I have been liking some one for more than 15 years now and he doesn’t have a clue. I can’t reach out. It’s very difficult to seek. Am making a lot of exceptions in your case, thanks to blogging… am saying a lot. Hope you get my point.

One heart beats somewhere
One soul longs
One mind thinks
One for one
Could that be me? You ask
Don’t wonder
Ask your heart
whom does it beats for?
Follow it
The twain shall meet if destined