My sister had a heart break, a real big one. She needs to look for reason to not fall apart. She joined the group I created, 2 years back, to hold myself together, by traveling and knowing how there is so much more to life than just the silly heart and its aches and breaks. But am not sure about this either.
I was asked out. Somebody asked me to join him for a trip to pondicherry. He had no clue but it has been my dream to do something like this. So, this weekend, for the first time in my life (readers of this blog who know me personally please don’t discuss the topics that follows, in real life) for the first time in my life I have known what is it like to be physically attracted to someone right at his warm handshake without having any kind of emotional connection. And how is it like to spend the whole weekend with him. And how is it like to be treated to a lavish dinner and drinks by him knowing that he has no self interest.
I was confused. I couldn’t realize what went wrong. Why in spite of everything being at the right place at the right time we stopped…he stopped? I stopped? I don’t know. Couldn’t even ask him. Was too embarrassed to do that. I can’t get over my inhibitions, I failed myself, ruined a nice moment and most certainly had hurt him. What I did learn though, was that there are some men who are so special in their own way and that it’s a wonderful destiny that I get to spend time with them. My date for the weekend was a special person.
On my third visit to Pondicherry I finally realized what this place is about. I figured what you should be doing to fall in love with this place. Pondi is not an one stop shop for tourist, where you just go, take a city tour see couple of interesting places, statues, monuments, buy some incense sticks and be done with it. It’s not even just a beach where you go see a sunrise or two, splash around the water a bit and be done with it. Pondi is a place you’d have to absorb in. You need to stand in the middle of nowhere in Auroville take a deep breathe and then you’d feel what is pondi. One should take it slow and steady in pondi.
Don’t stay put in the city, come down to ECR (East Coast Road) and hire a beach cottage. Go sit at the beach early morning, be quiet and catch the glimpse of Dolphins. Take a look at the fishermen’s boat sailing far away. Look at each one of them. Even though you can’t see the fisher men, you can almost see the signs of adventure on his forehead, the man in the middle of Bay of Bengal, fighting his life, earning his livelihood.
Sit there on the beach, be quiet and make a castle in the sand. Then, wait and watch how many waves does it take for your castle to be washed away. My date, he made an OM on the sand by shells. So long as we were there, the waves came one after the other washing away everything around except the OM.
Take transact walk of the city or hire a bike and drive around. Carry a camera and see how local kids giggle and jump on each other to be able to fit inside the frame. Show them the pic you’ve taken and see their expression. Hear the sound of innocent laughter. Catch a local cultural event, a festival, in our case the Ganesh Chaturthi.
The human rush towards Bangalore was so extreme, we couldn’t find seats in any bus from Pondi. So we took a rickety, crowded bus to Chennai, thinking from there we’d have more options, but it was all the same. Out of frustration I drew a mind picture, gushes of human race pouring in from all possible opening…the level is rising up and up.
So much happened this weekend. I could communicate so little. I still need to learn to speak.