“I am going to Bangalore to visit my daughter, see her new home.”

Every time Mom will say that to her relatives in this family wedding she is right now attending in Kolkata, they will ask back, “Oh really, so when did she get married? Got kids?

A daughter’s home is naturally presumed to be a matrimonial home. Otherwise its just, “my daughter works / studies in Bangalore…lives in some insignificant PG or college hostel. Mom is all proud to tell everybody though, that its her single daughter’s place, she has rented it recently and now setting it up on her own. Some body asked her, “Ki re babli meyer biye dibi na? (Hey Babli, won’t you get your daughter married?) Mom in her usual confidence replied, “Biye debo maane, aaj kaal kar meye der biye dite laage na, tara biye kare, iccha korle O korbe.” (What do you mean ‘get her married’, girls these days don’t have to be ‘gotten married’, they marry, she too would if she feels like)

I am so proud of Mom and so thankful :)

This is something that’s happening to me for the first time. I’ll go pick up mom from the Airport tomorrow. She’ll come with me to my place. A place she has not seen before.

Setting it up is not being easy. I have been waiting for her to come and help me out with a lot of things. But basics I have arranged already. A home full of furnitures and electrical appliances given by Vinu. No body clearly knows why he gave all his stuff to me and himself wants to go and stay in a PG. It was Vinu with who I decided to share a 2BHK flat initially, it was all very different back then, but we had to drop the idea ourselves. He isn’t sure about his stay, I wanted a year’s commitment from the flat mate. I don’t feel good for not being able to do the way we planned, specially after he wrote this sweet post, but it was best not to complicate things.

Don’t know about him, but this way, by taking his furnitures, to me at least, we would still be like a unit of some sort. He gave me four options about these gifts which are inconsistent amongst each other :) (1) keep them and pay as and when you feel like (2) You can also return them if you don’t want them (3) Help me sell them (4) I may take some stuff back if I need it.

For the time being am keeping them and not paying him :P

Vince gave me his futon, the one that had a major role in all of our lives, vince and snig made love on it so many times, A totally sloshed drunken me has crashed on it countless times, so many movies, so many parties on it.

Sunday, 9th Dec was spent shifting all these from JP Nagar and Cook Town. Every time, with everything I do, I make myself a bit more independent and strong, I actually can’t seem to find anything I can’t do on my own. For the shifting purpose, I went out looking for a Tempo, reached ulsoor tempo stand, around 40-50 tempo parked there, around 10 of the drivers circled around me, I negotiated with them, got a deal of 1300 bucks for 4 trips (Ulsoor to and from JP Nagar and Cook Town) along with 2 labours. Not just that, I got into the same tempo with the driver and went to Vinu’s place.

Went to buy bed cover for the futon and some cushions, ended up spending 1500 on a double bed sheet and 3 cushions with cushion covers. Noticed the double bed sheet is way to big for the futon, later mom said, there is a size in between double and single bed, I needed that. but by now I had already spread it out nicely and since I had a special guest visiting me I couldn’t change it also.

Money or master card can can buy big furnitures but not the small things that we grow up with, we never wondered where did they come from, never wondered when was the first time our parents bought them, the old tool box, the hammer, clutch, small and big size nails, the measurement tape, the old heavy Iron, the ragged cloth on the iron table, the large can where mom keeps monthly ration of Rice and wheat, the strange looking spoon which is used to pour oil in the kadai, life seems so incomplete without those old insignificant things. I have to buy them and make them old for my next generation if I ever have.

This home is a very significant chapter of my life. Something I thought, when I was 28, that I’ll do when I’ll be 30, and I did. Wouldn’t have been possible without mom n dad arranging for the advance security deposit money. If somebody has to be thanked for all this, it would be life I guess. Love the world today.

6 responses

  1. Delete that and delete this comment after that.

    Hugs otherwise! Have a good week.

  2. Some part of the above comment deleted by the blog administrator, me…but the hug is retained :P

  3. How mean? You deleted Vinu’s comments :-(

  4. having and maintaining ur own house is v captivating and satisfying experience…nice to know u havin fun,,

  5. well…having you own place…whether one is married or single…..is the first step towards self sustenance in this big bad/good world…..
    its a humoungous task..as i myself am finding out…as i set out to establish my own “gharonda”….one thing though..i feel ur luckier..ther’s no hubby to meddle things with…you can be your own master of the house!!!
    interesting posts…will keep reading!!

  6. […] I was pondering upon when I first rented this house. To quote myself from one my my previous post ‘Her Daughter’s Home’, “Money or master card can buy big furnitures and gadgets but not the small things that we […]

Share your views

About Sanjukta

Sanjukta Basu is a Feminist Scholar, Journalist, Lawyer, Published Author, Photographer and more. This blog is a repository of her more than 17 years of writing on diverse topics. Click here to read her bio and find contact details.