In anticipation of life to come, mourning a life gone.

RIP - Jango the dingoJango at his daily vigil

This morning we lost our dog Jango.

He was 11 and a half years old. He had never shown signs of old age until last Sunday when he refused to eat his meals.

This was the first time ever that he said no to any thing that was edible. He was the most hungry dog we’ve ever known. Naturally it worried us all. On Monday, my mom, dad and sister took him to the Vet. The Vet said, “he doesn’t have any ailment as such, just signs of old age, give him liquid food, he’ll be fine.”

But his conditioned worsened during the week. Meanwhile on Tuesday my sister and mom had to travel to Kolkata and other places which they wanted to cancel considering jango wasn’t well but the vet assured them that the situation wasn’t so serious. He also assured that I need not take a flight to Delhi immediately. He said he has enough time to live but of course he is getting old. So mom and sis went ahead with the travel plan leaving Dad to look after Jango. I am of course based out of a different city.

And here in Bangalore I came over to stay at Snigdha-Vinayak’s place for couple of days since the doctor said Snigdha might go into labour any time now. In case it happens in the night, Vince would drive there should be somebody to sit with her. The big news also came that their dogs Pondy and Alleppy are also gonna be parents, Alleppey is pregnant.

In just 5 days his health declined sharply, so much so that finally this morning I decided to take a flight home hoping to be with him for the last few days, never did I know he didn’t even have few more hours.

Jango had stopped moving since last night. Till yesterday morning he could walk albeit with great difficulty. Dad had taken him to the vet clinic in a three wheeler as we don’t have a car. The doctor gave him drip and some injections. Once he came back home he just lied down in the balcony and didn’t move for many hours though he was awake with his eyes wide open. In the evening he managed to walk from the balcony to our living room. Dad thought that was a sign of improvement. But within few minutes he rushed to the balcony again to puke and since then till today noon he never moved from where he lied.

In the morning dad tried to help him stand up but he couldn’t. He had defecated too while lying. It seemed to be impossible for dad to take him to the hospital in this condition but I argued over phone that you have to do something. I could understand dad’s helplessness, he is an old man himself and none of us are there. I found myself caught in between the anticipation of a life to come and another to go, was confused should I stay in Bangalore for the baby to come or should I fly to Delhi to hold Jango one last time.

From morning 9 to 10 I made a few calls here and there, most importantly I called Khurram da to tell him Jango’s situation. He said he would soon be there. Meanwhile I headed for Ulsoor to pick up my clothes and also needed to go to office once to pick up some important folder from the shared Drive.

Around 12 noon, my bags were packed and was on my way to UB City, my office. While Khurram da had reached our Dwarka house to find Jango lying helplessly. He picked him up and asked dad to put the locks on the door. Right when Khurram was carrying inside the car Jango streched his body once and broke the last breathe, by the time dad climbed down the stairs he was gone.

Stuck at the MG Road signal I called Khurram da on his cell he said Jango was gone. Even dad wasn’t there in this last moment.

Such is life, Snigdha’s baby, Alleppey’s litter and Jango’s demise so much happening at the same time. You don’t know how to feel. Suddenly I want to believe in reincarnation. I want to believe Jango would be back as one of Alleppey’s litter.

Jango has left a void in our lives, particularly dad. In our family Jango needed dad’s attention the most. Now that he is gone, dad will feel the most lonely. It is almost like there is no body who needs dad so desperately anymore. Sis and me being grownups now, all his doting fatherhood was dedicated to Jango and Jango alone. Not anymore.

“Tomorrow morning no one would care anymore if I woke up early or not. I can sleep till 9, Jango wouldn’t be here to push me to take him out for a walk. ” Dad told me standing at the burial ground in Najafgarh. Jango used to wake him up at 4 sharp, then again at 5 then again at 6. He hated that but he loved that because he wanted to take care of him. Not anymore.

After Jango was gone my first thought was how would dad cope. With none of us there and even Jango gone the house must come to bite him. I insisted he takes a flight immeditaely to Kolkata for the family occassion for which mom and sis left. But he said he said he is ok and doesn’t want to go anywhere now. This wasn’t the first time for him that he was dealing with loss. His younger bro died at mid 40s then about 10 years back we lost our grandpa too.

“I am rather happy that you guys weren’t here to see him because you wouldn’t be able to bear the sight, the sight of the pain that reflected on his face, the sight of him being buried.”

I would never fully know what Dad have gone through today. Even Khurram da said he could barely go through all that.

What a day Jango chose to leave, Sunday when dad was at home, when Khurram da could be called. What if it happened on a working day? Dad would have come home to find Jango dead. Jango left without giving us much trouble. Just 4-5 days of real suffering and he was gone.

Pets they teach you how to deal with loss, sudden loss. At this moment of grief all of us are scattered in different cities and we all are trying to cope with the loss, me here in Bangalore, mom and sis in Guwahati and dad in Delhi.

Miss you forever Jango, RIP.

My previous posts on Jango are here

14 thoughts on “In anticipation of life to come, mourning a life gone.

  1. I appreciate your words, as I am going thru very much the same. We put my dog to sleep yesterday. They give us so much. Much like your Father, I wonder what I will do in the mornings and mid-day no need to run home to walk her. I know in time it will be ok, right now it is my greatest challenge. My condolences to you and your family.

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  2. I can understand how it feels when you have to deal with the loss of a pet but such is life. Death is inevitable. I am happy for the fact that Jango did not have to suffer a lot. May he get a better life in his next birth. Take care. And dont think about his loss much. Think about all the 11 years of joy that he gave us all.

    I could hardly pet him becuase I used to be scared of him but today when he is gone I also realised that somewhere I also fell in love with that adorable nightmare.

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  3. I am really feeling very sorry for his demise…..we used to comments on him so many times…..just for fun….just to pull ur leg….but today I am really feeling sorry…..May god bless him….

    Chorda….

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  4. We too had a German Shepperd called Johny and he too left his last breath in the same way when we tried to shift him to a vet doc. My mom wept like lost her kin and i too felt very sad. Dogs are real companions all the way! May the peace fall upon the soul. Take care of your papa and try to give him another puppy with the same name!

    “Old order changeth yielding place to new”

    Peace…
    Osai Chella
    Founder: BlogChai.com

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  5. i have met jango only twice when i had gone to your home in rk puram……and the first time i came across him , i was surprised and amazed by the baby sounds he could make….if one couldnt see him..and just hear..one would think there was a baby in another room crying not a dog…!!!
    and the other time…it was evening time and jango was sitting by the main door waiting for u to come back from anxiously…the moment u came in he almost dragged you to go for a walk …
    …those are my memories of jango!!…
    hope his soul rests in peace….

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  6. Hey just came across ur blog by chance…but u just made me cry! im sure Jango was a hero for ur dad!
    I live wid my mom n 2 kids ..n my dad no more.I can’t dream of a live widout them.Our little guardian angels keep us going, they help us hold on to each day with more hope.they make our living more meaningfull.
    its sucha pleasure to have them along everyday, everywhere..u go, they go along!true pleasures in live they are.

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