Pre marital sex with promise of marriage – Delhi high court calls it rape

DNA Reports:

The Delhi high court on Monday held that sex without marriage amounted to rape

The court rejected pre-arrest bail to a man who repeatedly had sex with a woman but refused to marry her even after their engagement.

The woman stayed with her fiancé, Nikhil Prasar, in Mumbai for a few days, “where they had fun, and then went to Delhi and stayed in a hotel where they had sex”.

When it came to fixing a date for marriage, however, Nikhil refused, on the grounds that he had learned that she belonged to a different caste.

He (judge) said it appears that the man did not intend to marry the woman and that was why he did not wait for sex even till his formal engagement with her.

If he were so orthodox and conservative that he broke the marriage owing to caste differences, he should not have hurried in for sexual intercourse before marriage, the justice said.

The court held that if it was not held as rape, it would “result in unscrupulous and mischievous persons taking undue advantage of innocent girls by promising marriage with them”.

Sexual intercourse before marriage amounts to rape or it will result in victimisation or exploitation of innocent girls, justice Jain said.

Sex without marriage is rape? In what mind can a judge make such comment?

The rape laws in this country is in a bad state and needs immediate reforms not even 30% of the rape victims get any justice. Instead of trying to change the law and ensure better mechanism to ensure conviction our honorable court is going about making regressive statement such as this. It is not of the Court or of any body else’ job to play moral police in today’s liberalized society which is constantly embracing human rights. Today we have legalized sexual intercourse between same sex consenting adults, under the PWDV Act we have given recognition to live in couples and even granted protection to violence against women living in with a male partner.

By labeling sex without marriage as rape the court is actually giving a bad name to sexuality on the whole.

We understand that sex without valid consent is rape, every night millions of women are raped by their husbands when he establishes sexual intercourse without her consent. But the Court and law turn blind when it comes to addressing such sexual violence amounting to marital rape. An act of love or passion outside marriage is labeled rape.

I don’t want to go into the question as to why the woman registered a case of rape against this man, she may or may not have ulterior motives, or may be the man actually did rape her. We don’t know. But if the Hon’ble High Court thinks that they have given a judgment in favor of women by calling pre marital sex as rape I will say they have given a huge set back to the very little progress we have made in the difficult struggle of asserting our right to a healthy sexuality.

Updates 1:

On twitter this is becoming an argument. People think obtaining sex with false promise of marriage should amount to rape. I don’t know in which century do these people live. Sex is not a slice of cake that a woman gives and a man obtains, it is something two people do together. It is an act of pleasure, passion and love. A woman wants and enjoys it as much as a man does. Our patriarchal society need to get over this stupid assumption that all woman are bechaari innocent girls who only do sex because somebody conned them into it.

10 thoughts on “Pre marital sex with promise of marriage – Delhi high court calls it rape

  1. A very dangerous and regressive trend, indeed! The guy could have been charged under caste discrimination.

    This is @wiredvijay on Twitter

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  2. IMO, the courts have no business speculating what a person’s intentions were for getting into a relationship. I dunno why this case should be seen in any other light than regular relationships in which a couple is sexually active, but it doesn’t work out, and they go their separate ways. And no sometimes the decision isn’t exactly mutual, but so life is. Her being “innocent”, as the honorable judge describes her, doesn’t give her any special privileges under the law. The guy here may be a complete ass, but the courts cannot start interfering in our personal domains.

    I am no lawyer, but I think the judgment in a way is also a reflection of the society we live in. Sex for far too long has been associated for women with notions of purity. And men have far too long been considered the evil in the game. It’s time our perceptions change.

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  3. Hmm! Multiple thoughts – multiple issues. Don’t want to comment on the Judge or his judgment based on a media report, since it can be totally out of context. It might as well be tht it was labeled “Rape” as the Man could have forced the female ins some way..

    Second point is that of Marital Rape – None can help any female apart from they themselves. Everyday, each parents condition both male and female children on the difference of male n female with the final aim of making them believe in the glorification of a post master-slave arrangement between Husband – wife. Result silent exploitation.

    Result of the same conditioning is that 80% of Indian females are unaware of the word “Orgasm” and its associated experience. Majority of the Balance 20% who are aware of it, have never experienced it. So in a way they ARE “innocent” and needs a big revolution in self understanding and discovery

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  4. I dont want to take the report of the newspaper seriously becuase what they report and what is actually meant are most of the time very different. However, I do feel promising a marriage to have sex is cheating. A girl would have said No if she knew that the man wont marry her but here since the man has lied to her to win her trust to bed her definitely amounts to rape in my opinion. Now, what people do with consent behind closed doors is no body’s business but taking consent in the name of marrying someone for other motives is surely not right.

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  5. I think it is an fair law made in favour f girls…i dont say that evry man nt maryng d gal dey r in relatn with have wrng intentns but yes majority of men do use girls 4 their pleasure…they treat em as their servants nd fool em coz dey are too emotnl..they dnt undrstnd dat 4 a girl hvng sex is nt jst a thing f pleasure neithr do dey undrstnd dat if a gal gets pregnant b4 maraige her ful lyf gets destroyed nd on top f dat she has to kil her own baby to avoid taunts n bad behaviour frm pepl…dis is nt dne d main reasn f sex is 4 hvng kids nt 4 pleasure…nd evn if u GUYS need pleasure go n do it with whores as many times u wnt…but dnt spoil a gals lyf who u knw is inocent hv lil humanity in urslf plz n if u dnt hv den its d best thng dat law punishes u 4 dat…nd its obvious a gal wil cmplain only if she knws dat d guy hs jst used her odrwise she’l nvr gve prblm 2 a guy whum she loves…respect gals n their emotns plz guys stp being so cruel.

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  6. It is simply a rape coz when the girl does not agree to have sex the guy forcefully do it and hurts her and when girl agrees to have sex the gets hurt after she comes to know that the guy who gave her the promises to be her life partner had no intention of getting married to her and just for his physical needs he was pretending to be her future husband thats a rape coz in both the ways the girl is hurt and goes through mental trauma the guy should be punished hard and should not get bail and leave the decision on girl and these kind of cases should not take long for the final result.

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  7. Did the woman say the man had promised her marriage and that was why she agreed to sleep with him, and then he backed out? That would be cheating and misleading.

    I too feel “caste” doesn’t sound like a real reason for not marrying somebody here, because the man seemed quite unorthodox otherwise,
    “If he were so orthodox and conservative that he broke the marriage owing to caste differences, he should not have hurried in for sexual intercourse before marriage, the justice said.”

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