Dear Shree Modiji Bhagwan,

Recently, you gave a public speech where you said that there were plastic surgeons in ancient India who transplanted an elephant head on Lord Ganesha’s head. This is fascinating information. Our scientific, medical and technological achievements in the ancient times which are reported in the mythologies certainly put the modern western science to shame. I mean just imagine, circumventing the challenge of matching human nervous system and chromosomes with that of an elephant, and then to re-program the elephant brain to act like human once planted on human body…these are such amazing feats. Most fascinating is how did they manage to match the neck? A human’s neck is drastically smaller than an elephant’s neck but our ancient plastic surgeons managed to somehow put the two together. Mind blowing isn’t it. My heart swells with pride and superiority complex for being an Indian (in which I have no contribution)

A bit of bad news though Sir, sadly, this mind blowing achievement in the field plastic surgery was not unique to ancient Indian civilization alone. These kind of achievements were present in Greek, Egyptian, Roman & many other civilizations. There, plastic surgeons did all kinds of things to create Gods, here is a list:

  • Centaur – By fixing half of human body with a half of horse
  • Horus – by fixing falcon’s head on human body
  • Minotaur – by fixing head of bull on human body
  • Faun – by fixing half human with half goat
  • Sphinx – by fixing half human with lion
  • Medusa – by fixing hundreds of snakes on female human head
  • Unicorn – by fixing a horn on horse’s forehead
  • Gryphon – by putting together body, tail, and back legs of a lion; the head and wings of an eagle; and an eagle’s talons as its front feet

The list can be endless Sir, Wikipedia lists about 128 such hybrid characters in mythologies across the world. In addition, 20th century authors like Franz Kafka and Sukumar Ray wrote about characters and creatures which surely were results of such amazing plastic surgery. Kafka wrote about a human transforming into cockroach in Metamorphosis and Ray wrote about Tyansh Goru (a hybrid between bird and cow), Hashjaru (hybrid between duck and porcupine), Hatimir (hybrid between elephant and whale)  and several such characters in Abol Tabol.

Though nobody have seen such things I am sure Kafka and Ray had seen them otherwise how else can they write about them? As if people can write things from imagination!

Sir, I read that book which you recommended for school children, written by Mr. Dinanath Batra, which proves that owing to such amazing inventions like cars, television, airplane, in-vitro fertilization, genetic mutation, stem cell research and nuclear weapons in the time of Mahabharata and Ramayana, it is us and only us who are the supreme civilization in the whole world. We were virtually super humans walking on this earth until the Muslims invaded and destroyed all evidence of our super powers.

But Sir, my only confusion is, if we were the only supreme human civilization, how come Greek, Romans, Egyptians, Persians and others also had these super feats in field of plastic surgery? Please tell me Sir, since this is posing as an obstacle in my feeling superior to the rest of the world.

Yours truly,


Dear Bhakt

Actually, these other plastic surgeries were also done in ancient India. They didn’t have the superior technology that we had, so they came here and got them done by our doctors but never gave us credit, those buggers smaller people of inferior civilizations. I have asked Dinanath Batra to write a new book to prove this.

Modi Bhagwan

(Disclaimer: This reply is a work of fiction.)

The two faces of Mr. Modi – The Hindu

Indian prime minister claims genetic science existed in ancient times – The Guardian

The Prime Minister and Early Indian Science – NDTV

Narendra Modi merges myth and reality to say plastic surgery fixed Ganesh’s elephant head – The Independent