When Old People Don’t Know They Are Old And Are Stubborn

Alright whenever mom is not around I have a lot of issues with dad. This blog has already seen evidence of that. Since last night he’s given me 10 warnings that, “Tomorrow, early morning, I would go to Sarojini Nagar Market.”

In this heat, he wants to venture out, go to Sarojini from Dwarka, changing two buses for some work he can easily do on a weekday after office hours, maybe by adjusting a few hours here and there. He would never taken an auto (three-wheeler). He has NEVER taken an auto or cab in his entire life for himself alone. Can anybody beat that? If I or my sister put an objection to his plans, he gets annoyed that we are interfering in his business.

Dad has a peculiar psychology where he is allergic to pleasure and convenience. For everything in life he’d take the difficult path around instead of taking the easy straight road. I read Hugh Laurie a lot so I learn that there’s this thing called Presbyterian upbringing (in which Hugh was brought up) where you learn to see pleasure with suspicion. He feels if anything is worth attaining it has to be attained by suffering or if you got it already you have to compensate for it.

And what is this work? Some errand, I don’t know, tailor related. That’s the other thing, we moved to Dwarka 10+ years ago, and he still goes to his old tailor in RK Puram. Can’t get over the Government colony charm they are apparently cheaper than Dwarka tailor. Never mind the time and energy you’d waste in going to a place which has no direct bus or metro. That doesn’t count because when you look at the cost of something you only think in terms of the cash you’d shell out.

All his plans of going out is scheduled for ‘early morning.’ We’d say go in the evening, but he won’t listen. No work in this world is possible after sunset. Sunset means go to bed because we are still living in a time when electricity hasn’t reached this part of the village.  It’s this old rural psychology of going to the weekly or monthly ‘haat bazaar‘ by a bullock cart. He tells me stories of how in his childhood, in Jalpaiguri, when they would have a Narayan Puja in my grand parent’s home, he would go to the haat early morning to buy milk in bulk amount. He wants to relive those days at 70 in the National Capital Territory.

I get worried, paranoid to be precise, and there is a reason behind it which I have never shared with anyone. Years ago in our RK Puram Sector 4 neighbourhood we found a man in his 60s lying dead on the side of the road. He held a bunch of wedding invitation cards in his hand, some more were lying scattered next to his body. I remember the scene like it was yesterday. I was traumatized. He probably died of heat stroke or heart attack as it was noon time in the peak of summers. Probably already had an unattended heart condition.

Your parents get old, and you can’t stop worrying about their health. My dad is 70 and he is fit and healthy. Never had a heart condition, no Blood Pressure or Blood Sugar. He has a serious lung problem, Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis in spite of the fact that he never was a smoker, but he’s taking medicine and doctor said there’s nothing to worry. Yet, I feel that it is the healthy people who are at risk of having some sudden medical condition we never paid attention to.

Mom on the other hand has every possible medical issue one can have, diabetes, high BP, high cholesterol, Glucoma, retinopathy, but I worry less about her because she is a very disciplined patient regularly visits her GP takes all medicine in time. She takes them herself, some 20 kinds of them, in various combinations. I never have to remind her.

I don’t actually do any of the usual thing children should be doing for their ageing parents. I am dependent on them, they are not dependent on me. I just worry.

Anyway, that was about my daddy issues. I am lagging behind with the studies so this daily blogging experiment has to be on hold. Would write if I get some time. Yesterday was Hugh Laurie’s birthday, wanted to write about him but didn’t get time.

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