Why You Must Follow Me On Facebook

Why I insist, vehemently insist, that the men I date, friends I hang out with, and my sister, why I insist that these people must, if they care about me, follow my Facebook updates? Facebook is superficial they say, Facebook makes you narcissistic. Real relationship don’t need facebook. Why Facebook, grow up they say. I will explain why. I am a sum total of 40 years of unusual experiences. I have stored in my heart stories full of funny interesting sad poignant people and events which I carry with myself at all times. My feelings today are shaped by my … Continue reading Why You Must Follow Me On Facebook

I Will Not Be Lost In Your Narrative

14th September My life’s journey is a research paper. On this life I document how relationships fail, friendships fail, how  we build expectations and meet disappointments, what are life’s big mistake. Everything I feel and learn, I write. I write them on Facebook and this blog. SVD perhaps have been keeping an eye on all this. Initially she blocked me so she was not supposed to see my updates but today she came on my page and objected to the fact that I had put up her family’s photo on my featured photo section. It was photo of us taken on the … Continue reading I Will Not Be Lost In Your Narrative

How to care for Sad Person?

You might want to read this first to get the context of the words below. 24th Aug I saw a meme on Facebook which was about how to respond to a sad person. I went though the series of images which explained that you should respond with care, hug and comfort. And I couldn’t help comparing how my friends, SVD in particular responded to my recent bouts of depressive rant on Facebook group messenger, the place where this whole break up played out and ended. These sort of memes are double edged sword. They set such high standard of care … Continue reading How to care for Sad Person?

How Are You Holding Up?

27th July So ever since it happened that SVD my best friend sorry ex-best friend called our friendship off I have been trying to make sense of what happened. I am going back in time trying to reconstruct the month of July to find out where did I go wrong, what did I do? We usually communicate over a group chat but I have been silent on this chat since 11th July, the day I left for Mumbai. On 13th, 15th, 18th July she said things that didn’t make any sense to me except that she has suddenly taken a grave dislike … Continue reading How Are You Holding Up?

The World As I Knew It Has Ended

Update: 12th October 2016 I continue to update this blog with any development on this chapter of my life, this breakup. On Facebook I maintain the continuity by making updates tagged with #SVDAndI it is a spin off on the British satirical film Withnail and I. On this blog, follow the category SVDAndI for all related stories. Update: 20-Aug-2016 This is the story of my break up with a friend I had for almost 30 year. The lines (below) written on 26th July was the first reaction I had to this breakup. At that time I was still thinking this is a fight and … Continue reading The World As I Knew It Has Ended

Love is not complicated people are

10th Oct 2015

Last night the adda at SVD’s place was particularly fun, I cannot remember when was the last time I laughed so much. Perhaps it was the good Icelandic liquor and potent dope or a recently heart broken R who opened up a lot more than he usually does or a frustrated M who cannot make one coherent statement without cribbing about the lack of a man in her life or SVD who always asks these interesting questions for which you’d always give some ridiculous answer or all of the above. If there would have been a hidden camera somewhere in the room and somebody saw the recording of our conversation it would have made wonderful comedy. Continue reading “Love is not complicated people are”

On reconnecting

“People move on, get hurt, come back and find me there still.” On reconnecting with a man who used to have a crush on me a decade ago. He still remembers the crush. Told him I was always just a text away. There is nothing worse than two lonely friends not connecting with each other. It just kills me when my single eligible bachelor friends come and tell me how lonely they are. I am like, dude, am I invisible or what? I am single eligible and available, why are we not dating? It was a day of re-connecting with friends, … Continue reading On reconnecting

Matter

23rd July 2012

I would never be able to explain it to anybody, including myself, how much it helps, writing a blog post at the most vulnerable times of my life. The only way I can ever express myself is by typing my heart out right here, away from every human eyes.

So what happened today?

Just what I was always afraid of, my worst fears came up to me laughing and dancing in front of my eyes, making ugly scary faces at me. I feared this day would come and did my best to avoid it, but I couldn’t. And when it came, I couldn’t express any of the emotions I felt, from anger to pain to melancholy.  I couldn’t say the last few things I wanted to say, couldn’t do it my way. Right in front of my eyes, a whole damn world collapsed and I just stood there.

Continue reading “Matter”

That emotional intimacy issue…

Update dt 3-Jun-2012 – This is a rant.

Its about 1.30 am, in exactly 12.5 hours I am required to present my Business Plan at our 10000 women program, in front of a special panel. My B-plan is not even 40% complete. And yet I am on this blog.

I am here because I desperately need to write, need to communicate and I just don’t have anybody to talk to.

Here in this campus I am staying with 13 other wonderful ladies, each one of them are amazing listeners and they give great responses and feedback to most conversations. I have been spending my days talking to them, laughing and cracking jokes every now and then.

But I cannot ‘talk’ to any of them.

Its that emotional intimacy issue. I can write my heart out on this computer, and as soon as I would hit the publish button it would be up for mass public viewing and that wouldn’t bother me but I cannot talk to the 13 people I have known, for last 3 months, staying in the next few rooms of this hostel. Weird! Continue reading “That emotional intimacy issue…”

The heart is not where the dick is

The heart is so not where my dick is. If I were a man, I would have said that about my current situation. So change the ‘vital instrument’ to something more befitting my gender, you would get my point right. I don’t know what else to call this but love and I just feel so ridiculous and helpless about it. I mean what is one supposed to do with this stupid feeling. All said and done, this longing has no future, this is a doomed love. I so don’t want to be in it. I always had a lot of theories about love. “Love can’t happen … Continue reading The heart is not where the dick is

Alone and alive (Final Chapter of Book of Romance-Part 1)

This blog is back in action with its original content, feelings and emotions from the bottom of my heart, bare truth for the world to read. I spent all of 2010 worrying over the fact that everybody who knew me in real life, all the friends, the family members, colleagues, read my blog too often and so I couldn’t share everything that I wanted to share without inhibitions. But of late I have started to notice that the readership of this blog is again impersonal, the audience is made up of faceless strangers like it was when I first started … Continue reading Alone and alive (Final Chapter of Book of Romance-Part 1)

Boats on the water, not steps on the ladder

The greatest tragedy of my life is that my parents and my nearest and dearest family don’t understand what do I do in life, who am I. Since they don’t know, from there it follows, they are not proud of me, not particularly ashamed but not proud to the extent that when it comes to answering the question, “What does your daughter do?” they stutter and fumble with words, not sure of what to say as if I don’t do anything worth mentioning, only to finally say “she did her LLb”.

Continue reading “Boats on the water, not steps on the ladder”

Hello again, life

You know what they say about professionalism, that you cannot be personal.

The last few months, in fact the whole year I barely blogged, whatever I did write, like updates on my professional life, my new entrepreneurial venture, some of my interviews that got published on other blogs, none of these were really stuff that belonged to here. I mean shut up, this blog was about my personal stories straight from the heart. I have somewhere betrayed my blog because people kept telling me, “No you can’t keep writing about men” that just isn’t professional. 

It has been a struggle for me to explain it to a lot of people in my life, exactly why did they give me a TED Fellowship. The answer is this blog and its unapologetic ‘personal’ content.

Personal is powerful. It has strengthen me and now I preach it, personal blogging.

It’s not often that we come across people who we have inspired. Recently, I found this blog post where the author have linked to one of my interview and wrote how reading me has inspired her to blog about the truth of her life. In her closing line she said,

Here’s hoping that we all find the courage to blog about our Truths.

I think I am really lucky that something I did was able to inspire others. Most people spend their whole life making it big in so many ways, career, relationships, wealth and yet mostly they fail to inspire others.

So here’s to coming back to the beginning. No more professional updates, no more political opinions, no more agendas, just plain old truth from  my life, my bare soul the nakedness of which, I have been told, inspires and strengthens women. And that’s a feeling I cannot let go no matter how unprofessional I may appear.

~ Continue reading “Hello again, life”

Tag this one as dark, depress, scream

“A 100 years from now, who are you to be, reading me with curiosity?” ~ Rabindra Nath Tagore

If I could paint I would make a painting. Four walls and me, leaning on a corner, screaming. Scream till I lose my voice. Just scream. On the final day, when all of this will be over, I will have so much to say, to so many people, but I will no longer be able to speak. All my thoughts will just make one big mass of noise, a scream.

Thoughts bubbling up, but nothing left to say. Yet I am here to say, say it out loud. This life I lived without love, is scared, to die without love. Life you better be interesting, else you be short. Life you are getting too heavy, find it hard to carry, how far to go? When is it going to be over? I can’t wait to see what happens in the end. Broken heart, will you mend? I know it is going to be a reckless journey, we will bury every hope and dream, we will only carry this body of mass, blood and greed. We will put this body up for garbs, for vultures and hyenas to hog, but in the end a 100 years from now, will we win life?

Continue reading “Tag this one as dark, depress, scream”

Love is not your bailout

You will know when you will meet your soul mate, you’ll just know. There’s no way you’ll be wondering, “Is this my soul mate?”

A soul mate is a part of you which you didn’t even know exist, which was lost but you didn’t realize until you found it. Like sometimes while moving your furniture during spring cleaning that old crayon or that scrap book emerges from some corner and you immediately remember how much you loved it and how you didn’t even realize you had lost it.

What do you do when you meet him/her, the soul mate? What will you do with that crayon? You’ll not let it go. Once you’ll meet your soul mate you’ll not want to be away for another moment. When Harry Met Sally, Harry said, “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

Continue reading “Love is not your bailout”

The chase: The First date

Update: 17th May 2010 – I had earlier kept this post in private mode making it public today, because enough time has passed and that guy didn’t ask me for a second date and now I don’t think I am going to see him again.

This is a follow up to my previous post ‘The search the chase and the soulmate

Readers will remember I mentioned about meeting a person over twitter and talking to him via Gtalk. Well we chatted some more through last month on Google Talk and have finally decided to meet this weekend.

Usually the sequence of events is like this – you first meet over blogs and twitter, move on to gtalk, exchange phone numbers and then SMSs and then finally meet. Till this point it is very predictable, but what happens after the first date?

In my case mostly its nothing. I rarely move on to a second date. No body ever wants to spend more time with me or know me better or take care of me or love me. Sometimes some of the men I meet want to sleep with me but a quality relationship is never on their mind.

Continue reading “The chase: The First date”

Information Overload

Frequency of post on this blog has gone down so miserably because too many people are now reading it. It has always remained a personal blog where I used to write all my deepest feelings. But not any more. Now, recently I went out on a date. Like a proper date. The most obvious thing to do after that is to tell people via this blog, how it went, how I feel about the guy and how are things shaping. But I can’t do so cause he will read it. He is everywhere, on blog, twitter, facebook. This is exactly … Continue reading Information Overload

The search, the chase and the soulmate

I don’t know if its a coincidence or not but I happen to write whenever it pours unexpectedly and beautifully in the National Capital. And these writings always come in mind while I am coming home from work. In 2005, I used to work in Nehru Place, I thought of this post while sitting in the auto. In 2006 I was stuck in a bus stop, unable to find any bus or auto to my home in Dwarka, the rain was so beautiful I took some impromptu photos. Today it rained again. I had just taken the car out of … Continue reading The search, the chase and the soulmate

Happy New Year, that dream is still there

And just like that the year 2009 went by. Exactly the same way went ’07 and ’08 with the blink of an eye, leaving me behind with many exciting moments, many reasons  to smile, many moments of pride and success, and some same old blank sheets, and that same old yet to realize dream.

TED India

I was not writing on this space for quite some time now. Quite a few drafts were lying unfinished in the drafts folder. First one was about my TED experiences, how I felt that men who do not take the tried and tested easy road, the one with a 9 to 5 job, wife and kids, end up studying about crocodiles and dragonflies and exploring the Himalayas and green deserts. While the women who don’t take the tried and tested road, the one with a mangalsutra and a kitchen, end up becoming feminists. Continue reading “Happy New Year, that dream is still there”

This weekend – night drive, motherhood, lost love and more

This weekend and another weekend this month or last month, the Saturday evenings were spent at SnigdhaVinayak’s place. What I usually do is land up at their place for lunch and then hang around till dinner. Towards the evening we always go to the terrace and enjoy the breeze and do a lot of talking. Three of us are amazing talkers. There is not another soul besides my sister with who I can talk so much on so many varied topics as much as I do with Snig and Vince.

Today when we were sitting on the terrace I had told the universe via twitter, “am with @snigdha @lighttripper on their terrace. They are few meters away from me yet this I can only tweet, not say – I love you guys.” For emotional intimate communication twitter works for me, I can’t ever say I love you face to face.

Continue reading “This weekend – night drive, motherhood, lost love and more”

A star was born

[Scene – I, 22nd Jan 1977, Jalpaiguri a small town in north West Bengal]

She spent all of last night sobbing in his arms. “The doctor said 21st is the date but I never had a labour pain. And now the baby has even stopped moving. Some thing must be wrong with the baby, I am so scared, and you are leaving me here all alone. Why must you leave? Shouldn’t you be worried that the baby is not moving? Yes I did tell ma about it, she said few days here and there from the predicted date is fine. But I am scared. We should go to a good doctor, the Government hospitals are no good. Just because I don’t have a family of my own you people are doing this to me. If I had my parents they would have taken me to a good nursing home for a checkup.” She sobbed and sobbed.

All that sobbing really got Gora worried. It was barely dawn when he rushed to his mother’s room. “Ma, your bouma is very worried, it seems the baby is not moving, let us take her to a doctor come with me.”

They went to Dr. Banerjee’s private clinic. He took one look at Mita and said it cannot be a normal delivery. Dr. Banerjee isn’t a very sweet person. One would often hear him saying, “I don’t have time to be nice, I have lives to save.”

He asked Gora rather rudely, “when was your return to Kolkta again?”

“Er, I thought I would leave tomorrow.” Gora could sense doctor Banerjee wasn’t very pleased.

“What? Leave tomorrow. Your wife is going to deliver a baby any time now and you have plans to return to work, leave her alone here, don’t you people have any sensibility. Go cancel your tickets or whatever. There has to be a seizure, you will have to sign a bond. Leaving tomorrow it seems.” He sounded disgruntled

Mita had to be immediately admitted.

Continue reading “A star was born”

If you were a poet, would you write a song for me?

I asked, to someone I had a casual sex with, “Do you ever think about me?”

He is also a friend, actually first a friend, the sex was like really casual and I am not even thinking of making it a regular activity, not because he wasn’t good, he was, but because sex can’t hold me for too long. It only stays for the night.

So I asked, do you ever think about me? He said, “Of course I do, I just didn’t get the time to ping or call you, been very busy.”

No, I didn’t ask that question because I was missing him, I don’t miss anybody. Well that’s not completely true, but let’s leave it at that. I asked to understand something about me, something I have never known and though I am not sure but I think most women know that thing about themselves.

What is it about my physical being that people remember when I am not around? Do they remember me as the girl who had a great smile? The girl who was so cute, talkative, energetic? If they were writers, would any of them be able to write nice lines on my eyes? Or on how the touch of my lips felt, or how my skin glow, or how my sweet voice seduced them to the point of ecstasy?

Continue reading “If you were a poet, would you write a song for me?”

Long time no incoherence

Dr. Motion accused me of paying more attention to Mutiny and extending step motherly attitude to TIMT.

Well she is right. Blogging has not been really happening the way it used to be 3 years back. There is no particular reason for it. I just don’t feel so much anymore to be expressed. I feel a lot about the political issues in the country which I express on Mutiny or if I have to use profanity I go to TIMM.

There isn’t much of a personal life to be blogged about anyway. Very cliched it is but the right word is, ‘comfortably numb’ (what would we sad people do without a Roger Waters) No romance to pursue, no heart aches, no more dreams to be broken.

To make matter worse, something happened in the recent past, on a Let’s Go trip to be precise, which made me go into a withdrawal state of mind, where I felt like withdrawing myself from everything in life.

Socializing activities was the first casualty of this state. I am a very vulnerable person. In the real world out there it’s very easy to hurt me. Most of the time I am easy going, I don’t mind people pulling my legs, if you are making fun of me I would rather smile and ignore instead of making a big deal out of it. Unfortunately, I haven’t learnt where to draw the line so people come and walk all over me and I can’t even say a thing.

Continue reading “Long time no incoherence”

On Random matters of the heart

[Moving on to what I usually write on this blog. I will keep updating the post on Hajra with new information.] A lot of my male friends often tell me, after having broken a girl’s heart, “I always told her there can be no future with me still she had built hope, what to do.” Yeah what to do. Girls build hope. No matter what you say. You know what they think? They think, “Oh he is only saying like that, actually he himself doesn’t realise he is in love with me. But I would love him so much that … Continue reading On Random matters of the heart

This life…This arbit life

The google talk encountered an unexpected error. All chat windows shut down. I opened another IE window, typed wordpress.com hit enter. The hourglass appears and I am thinking ‘wordpress’ rhymes with ‘depress’. I am loooking at a blue corner, where the two walls of my cubicle meet. The lights in this cubicle are the same all day, so you can’t tell if its day mid day evening late evening or dark outside. I have ear phones plugged in so I can’t tell who else is in the office, am I alone? Is it raining outside? I can’t tell. In a … Continue reading This life…This arbit life

My 3rd Rejection

Updated on 1-Oct-09 – “Expired post. I can’t relate to these emotions anymore.” —————————— In all my life so far there have been 3 lucky men to whom I have expressed my feelings and quite fortunately have been rejected by, now when I look back, “what was I thinking?” To the 1st one I had sent a handwritten love letter which he probably didn’t even read. Very silly and emotional one it was. I was in Xth standard then. To the 2nd one I sent an email from my official ID. He didn’t reply to it, didn’t reply to a … Continue reading My 3rd Rejection

It happened on one summer afternoon

It was some kind of event, but I don’t exactly remember what. I was with a group of people and we had all gone for an adventurous hiking through some exotic locales. There were wild animals, pretty flowers, nice people.

I knew I was going to meet him on this journey. I just knew it. And I was right, there he was, just as I had imagined him.

Continue reading “It happened on one summer afternoon”

Of date, dent and dentistry-I

Cranky old man who doesn’t look so old yet yells, “where is my lungi (traditional Indian men’s wrap around), just where is it?” 

Equally cranky but not so old woman yells back, “I have put it for Laundry.” Old man confused, asks, “What do you mean ‘put it for laundry’, it has either been washed or not washed.” Old man’s logic, “If its washed it should be on the strings drying, if not washed I can still wear it, if only I can find it, where is it?”

Old woman grumbled, “I washed it but didn’t dry it. So find yourself something else to wear.”

Continue reading “Of date, dent and dentistry-I”

A break is a break up

A lot of things have happened in the recent past, some never before incidents. All of them together has made me write a thousand words with many emotions, I cringed a thousand times too to express them all but I couldn’t. I am now going into a long silence, I just can’t express what I am going through not even on my blog. May be couple of months later I would. Till then it would be difficult to update this space. I am taking a break. I would continue writing in another blog but that I shall keep secret for … Continue reading A break is a break up

Life in Bangalore: On newly found independence

Been a year and a month in Bangalore. Time flew by indeed and I have finally begin to feel I am settled here, only thing I miss is my car. I always wanted to have a car because it gives me a tremendous feeling of independence. As if those are not wheels but wings. I guess I’ll get the car in May when my sister would be finished with her MA classes. A friend today asked, “you still in Bangalore?” I said, “yes and I’ll be here for some more time, kind of settled now, rented out a home looking … Continue reading Life in Bangalore: On newly found independence

Happy Birthday – 3 Aquarians

Left to Right: Snigs, Kreeti and Me at Pecos, Church Street, Bangalore ————–  They say sunsigns are all bull shit. But I think it has to be too much of a coincidence that it was this bunch of 3 intelligent, smart, whacky, eccentric and super sexy aquarians that has together done some of the greatest fun things in life, have had the craziest time together with love and hate so intricately interwoven and have been able to stick together for all these years. Year 1985 till date and still going strong. Today’s is Kreeti Bhakt’s Birthday…I have no clue why she … Continue reading Happy Birthday – 3 Aquarians

hmm

It’s been so long I didn’t write a poem. I don’t write much from the heart these days, don’t feel anything actually. Life is going great if you see except that am in my 31st year and still single. There has to be a reason behind this. It cannot be a coincidence. All these years and not one meaningful relationship. Many men, but not one love. Strange. For a long period I thought I am too ugly. Now I’ve figured it doesn’t matter. Then, what matters, I don’t know. The other day I asked a guy, “why are most men attracted … Continue reading hmm

December Fever

Addendum: This post was featured on Bangalore Mirror dated 28-Dec-07 under the blog talk section. This was the 3rd time this blog got featured under the same section and the 5th time my name appeared in Bangalore Mirror. ————————— December fever as dad calls it, occurs during the last 5 days of the month of December to the Government officials. They are entitled to 8 casual leaves and 2 restricted holidays during a year, they avail around 30 CLs and still they are always left with around 5-6 CLs (Because they never submitted the leave applications) which they avail during … Continue reading December Fever

Camping for love

Camping for loveOriginally uploaded by Jace BCB5 Participant Speak Participant # 1 – Hi What collective are you in? Participant # 2 – Oh I am in ‘I found my wife at BCB Collective’ Vinayak Das found his wife Snigdha Sheel (my childhood friend, my eccentric crazy friend cum almost wife) and I found a whole new family at the BCB4. Love BCB, Love Vince and Snigs and Love for Vinu the original Cupid. Thanks for the pic Jace. [PS. Take a larger view of the pic and you’ll see the BCB Badge Vince was happily sporting all day] Continue reading Camping for love

This weekend

The much awaited 4 day weekend is to end in couple of hours. Here’s another of my “This weekend” post. This weekend I realised how comfortable I have become in being alone on my own. I don’t feel bored any more, I don’t mind not talking to anybody for the whole day. I don’t mind not going out anywhere for the entire weekend. I am so calm inside all of a sudden. In fact, to my surprise I realised unsolicited phone calls and other means of displaying interest in me has finally become annoying. So it was very confusing and … Continue reading This weekend

Lead Me Not 2 Temptation

Men are mostly mean. Am not complaining much, just saying, “it’s not fair”. They suddenly fly in from no where into my life give a little hurt and fly away. ‘Lead me not to temptation’ I say to myself everytime. Alas, I get tempted again and again. Take this guy, Kunal, for example. I knew him for some time now through virtual world before he flew in as flesh and blood in my life. Had first heard of him through Akshay. Was introduced to me as this avid trekker who almost have captured the whole of himalayas under his feet. … Continue reading Lead Me Not 2 Temptation

Weekend Snapshots

This weekend, My sister had a heart break, a real big one. She needs to look for reason to not fall apart. She joined the group I created, 2 years back, to hold myself together, by traveling and knowing how there is so much more to life than just the silly heart and its aches and breaks. But am not sure about this either. This weekend, I was asked out. Somebody asked me to join him for a trip to pondicherry. He had no clue but it has been my dream to do something like this. So, this weekend, for … Continue reading Weekend Snapshots

So what do you do, when

 Disclaimer: The word ‘You’ in the following lines is an assortment of many and not representing ME.    …You admire a guy for the person he is, things he says or does, but you don’t think you can date him coz he is kinda out of your reach and you also don’t know how he feels for you although you have been very vocal about your crush. [you guys have not met each other in real but you meet everyday on Gtalk and he sure does likes talking to you and the conversation always goes great. He also says conversation … Continue reading So what do you do, when

A testimonial for a Beautiful Friend

Its amazing how some people never follow the trend. When every one been saying “hey send me an sms“. He’ll say, “honey text me up“. Samy will you call me, been ill for two days…or text me. though don hav no right nemore but been missing u.” That’s one of the sweetest sms i have ever recieved. The other ones too were from him. This one brought tears – “honey i kno whre it hurts, twasn’t a casual call, called coz i ws rude, called to say sorry (although he never said the words) pls get over it honey” One … Continue reading A testimonial for a Beautiful Friend

I was charmed yesterday

I wanted to cry today. Just cry. Not for any particular person or reason. I was charmed yesterday…… damn I hate sequels. Anyways since my friend asked…what happened to the man who charmed me…….. I don’t know what love is? But I always wanted to fall in love. Wanted to give my everything, from body to mind, all my pride, all my fears, all my weaknesses, all my anger, all my laughter, to this one person who would take care of all of them. All my dispositions are meant to find that one person. I didn’t know who would he … Continue reading I was charmed yesterday

wow

“Met a great guy today…he was wow…simply wow.. am charmed.” When was the last time I said that…lemme go back in time… checking out the archives of my blog would suffice. Some where in the mid of Feb this year here is that post. Two in a year, not bad, its progress rather, given the fact that the february crush happened after almost 6 long years. For the records I am talking about this feeling of being charmed instantly, it’s not like in 6 years I didn’t go out with or see any body. As always the twain shall never … Continue reading wow

Full circle

No, you are not out of my mind. There isn’t a single ‘free’ moment of the day when I don’t think of you, you are the first thought when I wake up, you are the last when I sink in sleep. Just that you don’t know, and you would never know coz I won’t ever tell you what’s in my mind unless you ask me. Took me 6 years to find, and probably for the first time in true sense, a man who appeared to be some one I can spend time with…wanted to be with you, thought we can … Continue reading Full circle

A Testimony

With a spectacular Charm and a brilliant smile he is every woman’s dream come true and yet he isn’t the one for you…or may be you aint the one for him.A little loud…some times rude too…but at least no pretentions…that’s the first impression that will probably be built by him on you, a man whose every move is not guided by how much attention he can seek from the gorgeous girl in view. A man who can be friend with anybody and everybody in just a hello, a man who belongs to a group and yet keeps his identity aloof, … Continue reading A Testimony

And finally ‘You’

Coming outta that dream world……… Lemme talk bout the first man in my life whom I have looked at and felt he can be the one I can spent the rest of my life with. No, not in love yet, no butterflies in stomach or anywhere either, just find him special. If there is anything called “liked a lot at first sight” its that. Just known him for 2 months now, but we happen to connect great we both like each other. What next? I don’t know. Ideally I would want to be into a realtionship, a commitment, see each … Continue reading And finally ‘You’

You

If this was a perfect world, This man would have been my perfect man and we would have fallen in love so very perfectly that we would have lived happily ever after…. Thanks god this isn’t a perfect world Talking about dazenamused. I have been reading his blog for quite some time. Though he has deleted most of his previous posts now…. a darn honest dreamer, wishing every moment of his life could be that perfect moment of ecstasy…. but realising everything is just a dream not for real. Like a kid he is ready to give up everything he … Continue reading You