Cancer The Misfortune That Fell On Us

3rd April 2017 Cancer. Not a disease but a culture. A major story twist. The deadly misfortune has been part of the most tragic films and literature. Mostly it would be the male protagonist, he falls sick and doctors tell him, “You have last stage Cancer, only few days of your life are left” and then an dramatic scene follows. “Ab inhe dawa ki nahi dua ki zaroorat hai (She needs prayers now not medicine)” is a much clichéd dialogue from hindi films of yesteryears. In real life however, among friends and family such misfortune was rarely heard. With advancement … Continue reading Cancer The Misfortune That Fell On Us

“Take Her To Another Hospital” Max Hospital Emergency Didn’t Give Treatment Because No Room To Admit Patient

A 63 year old patient with severe fluid in both lungs, rapidly decreasing oxygen saturation (90 to 85 to 81 percent within few hours) and increasing breathing trouble was not given any treatment at Max Hospital Emergency, simply because they had no room to admit her. “Take her to another hospital” said the Max Hospital Emergency doctor and person in-charge of admitting. My mother’s both lungs were filled with fluids. She wasn’t able to breath. Our ordinary understanding is that the fluids from her lungs needed to be drained out. We had with us two X-ray reports which clearly showed … Continue reading “Take Her To Another Hospital” Max Hospital Emergency Didn’t Give Treatment Because No Room To Admit Patient

The News Sucks And There’s a Femicide in Guatamela

Hello people. A confession, the staying off Facebook / Twitter didn’t really work. Social media platforms are no longer just places to share your thoughts but also to seek information and exchange ideas. This bit was missing when we first started blogging. Back then it was only about sharing. So that’s a learning from this experiment. But the sad part is that the news we are accessing on social media is like not even like .1% of the world. I looked up popular news website, NDTV, TOI, BBC, and you know what i found? Everywhere there are only the same 3-4 … Continue reading The News Sucks And There’s a Femicide in Guatamela

When Old People Don’t Know They Are Old And Are Stubborn

Alright whenever mom is not around I have a lot of issues with dad. This blog has already seen evidence of that. Since last night he’s given me 10 warnings that, “Tomorrow, early morning, I would go to Sarojini Nagar Market.” In this heat, he wants to venture out, go to Sarojini from Dwarka, changing two buses for some work he can easily do on a weekday after office hours, maybe by adjusting a few hours here and there. He would never taken an auto (three-wheeler). He has NEVER taken an auto or cab in his entire life for himself alone. Can anybody … Continue reading When Old People Don’t Know They Are Old And Are Stubborn

I met Lucky but I didn’t get lucky – Delhi’s Thak Thak Gang’s smooth criminals

Oye Lucky Lucky Oye that Abhay Deol starer film was one of my all-time favourite films. Not anymore for I met a Lucky in my real life.

It happened in broad day light at the Hauz Khas – IIT gate traffic signal, opposite to Essex Farm, amidst a heavy Monday evening traffic and right under the nose of 4 traffic cops posted at the signal.

I was on my way back to my residence in Dwarka after finishing a meeting at the Adchini area. If you know the map of that area you’d know that in order to go to Dwarka or Airport from Adchini which is on your left you have to drive till the signal opposite to Mother’s International School and take a U-turn so that landmarks like Essex Farm, Indian Oil petrol pump or Turcoise Cottage are now on your right. Straight ahead is Hauz Khas and on your left is the IIT gate, you take a free left turn for Dwarka / Airport from this point. Free left turn only if the traffic allows, sometimes it doesn’t. Continue reading “I met Lucky but I didn’t get lucky – Delhi’s Thak Thak Gang’s smooth criminals”

Night in and outside my bedroom

It’s 3 am. The sky outside is thundering and pouring. I can’t sleep. I find the night so much more interesting than day, that I don’t feel like sleeping over it. Right now, all is quiet. Am alone in my room, on my bed. This space is so secure, so comfortable, so completely mine. No intruders, no door bells, no phone calls. Nobody to see me or judge me or question me. I feel free of all inhibitions at nights.

Continue reading “Night in and outside my bedroom”

So it was my birthday yesterday

With sis and her friends

That is on 23rd of Jan. It was also the birthday of Netaji Subhash, Bal Thackeray and Lord Denning. I simply cannot stop obsessing over the coincidence of my birth date matching with these men, a fierce freedom fighter, the original Indian Godfather and one of the most popular Jurist who worked so much for individual liberty. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that the mere coincidence of my birth date and my name has influenced me for most part of my life.

Continue reading “So it was my birthday yesterday”

Birthday 2010 – Am I any wiser?

This weekend it is my Birthday. Read my previous Birthday posts – 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006 10 am No body called at mid-night this year. Of all the friends only Snigdha called so far. She asked if I am feeling any wiser and any more prudent with another year added to life. Good question. Well I am certainly less freaky this year about people not calling me to wish. I mean I care less because I understand that people are busy. Most friends have got married, had babies and have complicated their lives. So ya may be I am wiser … Continue reading Birthday 2010 – Am I any wiser?

In anticipation of life to come, mourning a life gone.

RIP - Jango the dingoJango at his daily vigil

This morning we lost our dog Jango.

He was 11 and a half years old. He had never shown signs of old age until last Sunday when he refused to eat his meals.

This was the first time ever that he said no to any thing that was edible. He was the most hungry dog we’ve ever known. Naturally it worried us all. On Monday, my mom, dad and sister took him to the Vet. The Vet said, “he doesn’t have any ailment as such, just signs of old age, give him liquid food, he’ll be fine.”

But his conditioned worsened during the week. Meanwhile on Tuesday my sister and mom had to travel to Kolkata and other places which they wanted to cancel considering jango wasn’t well but the vet assured them that the situation wasn’t so serious. He also assured that I need not take a flight to Delhi immediately. He said he has enough time to live but of course he is getting old. So mom and sis went ahead with the travel plan leaving Dad to look after Jango. I am of course based out of a different city.

And here in Bangalore I came over to stay at Snigdha-Vinayak’s place for couple of days since the doctor said Snigdha might go into labour any time now. In case it happens in the night, Vince would drive there should be somebody to sit with her. The big news also came that their dogs Pondy and Alleppy are also gonna be parents, Alleppey is pregnant.

Continue reading “In anticipation of life to come, mourning a life gone.”

This weekend – night drive, motherhood, lost love and more

This weekend and another weekend this month or last month, the Saturday evenings were spent at SnigdhaVinayak’s place. What I usually do is land up at their place for lunch and then hang around till dinner. Towards the evening we always go to the terrace and enjoy the breeze and do a lot of talking. Three of us are amazing talkers. There is not another soul besides my sister with who I can talk so much on so many varied topics as much as I do with Snig and Vince.

Today when we were sitting on the terrace I had told the universe via twitter, “am with @snigdha @lighttripper on their terrace. They are few meters away from me yet this I can only tweet, not say – I love you guys.” For emotional intimate communication twitter works for me, I can’t ever say I love you face to face.

Continue reading “This weekend – night drive, motherhood, lost love and more”

Going to attend ‘India Lies in You,’ Quitting from Mutiny’s Managing Editor position

Phew! So much is going on in life, just don’t have the time to blog. This person asked, “whats up?” Now for some it might just be a conversation starter but for me it is a dilemma, should I or shouldn’t I start telling what all is really up. Let me see, umm, from the last time we met, work, hectic, health bad, food outside, activities, NDTV, We the people, Barkha Dutt, happy, Mutiny, stress, friend, hope-to-be-boyfriend, fight, patch up, love, sex, valentine’s day, free hugs campaign, fame some more, travel, Goa…Those are the things that has been up off late. I don’t think you’ll like it if I really start talking about what’s up, and that’s why my safe answer would be “nothing much, life in general.”

Continue reading “Going to attend ‘India Lies in You,’ Quitting from Mutiny’s Managing Editor position”

Life in Bangalore: On staying alone in my proud house

25th October 08

Over the past few weeks I have been going through, what I understand it to be, the most depressing phase of my life. I never knew what exactly depression means and how it gives you a fuckall feeling all through the day. I don’t feel like going out of the walls I live in. Some times I feel like sleeping for long hours which is to say for 18-20 hours, sometimes I can’t sleep at all, I lay awake on my bed all night or spend the whole night staring at the laptop screen even when I have nothing to do on it. I have been skipping work every other day, and even when I am at work I am being un-productive.

Every thing around me either irritates me or makes me angry or hyper emotional inducing sudden large drops of tears. Heck! I even had a few drops rolling down my cheek watching Obama win. As I heard Arnab Goswami echoing on Times Now, “this is uh one man’s uh historical journey…” I felt a lump in my throat and I went, “Fuck you Arnab, making me emotional over something I just don’t care about, what are you, the fat lady from the Opera.”

Continue reading “Life in Bangalore: On staying alone in my proud house”


Furobiker Abhishek, Lakshmi, Kalyan, Arnold, Aneesha, Seema, PP, Eddie, Rashmi, Snigdha and Anantha – Thanks to each one of you for still being around. I bestow upon you the ‘Most loyal reader‘ awards. And from this day on this blog is going to start a new chapter in its life with 11 of its most loyal readers. The previous post got 83 unique page views half of them came through web half of them from RSS feed but only 11 commented. I am going to start this new chapter by establishing a personal relationship with these 11 readers, I don’t … Continue reading Thanks

Long time, I know

Did anybody miss me? A lot has been going on. Will tell you all about it. Blame Twitter for the lack of blogging by the way. They made it so easy to express in such few words that you dont’ wanna write long pages anymore. A few drafts are lying around since November. Will publish them shortly. But meanwhile just wanted to check who all are still reading this blog. If you are here, could you please leave a message? Please? And oh, for more regular updates follow me on Twitter. You’d love my tweets. Continue reading Long time, I know

Long time no incoherence

Dr. Motion accused me of paying more attention to Mutiny and extending step motherly attitude to TIMT.

Well she is right. Blogging has not been really happening the way it used to be 3 years back. There is no particular reason for it. I just don’t feel so much anymore to be expressed. I feel a lot about the political issues in the country which I express on Mutiny or if I have to use profanity I go to TIMM.

There isn’t much of a personal life to be blogged about anyway. Very cliched it is but the right word is, ‘comfortably numb’ (what would we sad people do without a Roger Waters) No romance to pursue, no heart aches, no more dreams to be broken.

To make matter worse, something happened in the recent past, on a Let’s Go trip to be precise, which made me go into a withdrawal state of mind, where I felt like withdrawing myself from everything in life.

Socializing activities was the first casualty of this state. I am a very vulnerable person. In the real world out there it’s very easy to hurt me. Most of the time I am easy going, I don’t mind people pulling my legs, if you are making fun of me I would rather smile and ignore instead of making a big deal out of it. Unfortunately, I haven’t learnt where to draw the line so people come and walk all over me and I can’t even say a thing.

Continue reading “Long time no incoherence”

I give up

I woke up today with a terrible stomach ache. I can’t explain what it was like but it took me back some 15 years. Those days this kind of pain was more common with me. The heart burn and the pricking pain is more recent.

As long as my memory can go back I have had these stomach aches. Now I am a chronic patient. When I was in teens or pre teens I used to have a pain on the left abdomen around where we have the love handles. At times they used to be all around the stomach, at times they’d be on the back, there would be times when I can’t sit, stand, lie, walk, cant do anything. It’s really unexplainable. These days, that is to say since the past 3-4 years its a constant heart burn, a pain right in the middle of my chest along with a pricking pain which mostly starts at around the belly button and travels towards my back through the right lower abdomen.

Then there have been occasional cases of severe pain in the left extreme lower abdomen. One such time some 7-8 years back I had to be taken to the emergency ward in Safdarjung Hospital. However they didn’t exactly consider it an emergency case. They gave me charcoal, another sort of laxative which is supposed to be extremely effective.

Continue reading “I give up”

PG – Mom dad please don’t read this

That was a PG rating for mom and dad coz they both are quite a fan of my blog.

These weird thoughts just came to mind, dunno from where – what is this obsession men have with BBWs? Ok wikipedia would inform you BBW = Big Beautiful Women, but c’mon we all know what it actually is ‘big breasted women.’ So why do men have this obsession for big boobs. No that’s a serious question.

Somebody explain this to me. Isn’t it true that a fat women would by default have a considerably big size (for lack of more decent words). Does that mean this popular interest men have for big bs (what? What did I say?) is in effect an interest in fat girls?

But last I checked fat = ugly. One thing men say, and I know it as a matter of fact, is this, “Oh! I don’t like skinny women but they should have a decent figure, should not look unhealthy.”

Now question is what are the chances of a girl with decent figure having big bs? Will she have it naturally or would she have to get some silicon. Also when you get those siliocon does it function normally? As in can you breast feed a child?

Talking about this fetish look what I found, Boobpedia. Surprises me so much to see what all things are the people of this world engage in. I mean boobpedia of all things. And if you visit one of the orkut communities man is it enlightenment or is it enlightenment. From Incest to pedophiles ask what is not there. People narrating stories of how they got fucked by their parents or raped their sisters. I wonder is it all for real? Do people really have such bizarre fetishes?

Continue reading “PG – Mom dad please don’t read this”

Holi 2008

Holi was good. Nothing much to write about it. I uploaded some pics on flickr, in 2 sets, Pondi and Alleppey’s Holi and Our Holi check them out.    The long weekend was eventful. Wrote an emotional email, contemplated marriage, got on everybody’s nerve pushing them for Blogathon Admin tasks and then on Sunday evening I went out for a bit to quickly visit the parlour. Parlour was closed, so I thought let me pick up some DVDs from the local rental library, picked up 9 movies. The next thought on mind was, I also need a good ear phone … Continue reading Holi 2008

Life in Bangalore: On newly found independence

Been a year and a month in Bangalore. Time flew by indeed and I have finally begin to feel I am settled here, only thing I miss is my car. I always wanted to have a car because it gives me a tremendous feeling of independence. As if those are not wheels but wings. I guess I’ll get the car in May when my sister would be finished with her MA classes. A friend today asked, “you still in Bangalore?” I said, “yes and I’ll be here for some more time, kind of settled now, rented out a home looking … Continue reading Life in Bangalore: On newly found independence

Holi: Then & Now

I, Snig and the gang are planning to celebrate the coming holi with lots of fun and frolic. One of the main item on the celebration agenda is to prepare the traditional Gujia for all. Gujia reminded me of writing this post. Holi, is the festival of colors, some blue (sad) some green (envy) and some purple (melancholy), not all colors are happy colors you see.  This is a piece I actually wrote last year on the day of Holi, late at night when all the colors were over. Last year also I and Snig made Gujia and this piece … Continue reading Holi: Then & Now

This Weekend

Being talented is not that fun always. At times you have to pay dearly for it. Now when you know there are about 54 lease documents that you’d have to go through. Read them, understand them and check if what your client is paying to the Landlord in terms of rent is exactly what he is supposed to pay as per the Lease. You know you have to finish this sample audit by 25th of Feb. And on 15th of Feb if you have to email your client, that the Audit is going great guns you gotta be talented to … Continue reading This Weekend

Happy Birthday – 3 Aquarians

Left to Right: Snigs, Kreeti and Me at Pecos, Church Street, Bangalore ————–  They say sunsigns are all bull shit. But I think it has to be too much of a coincidence that it was this bunch of 3 intelligent, smart, whacky, eccentric and super sexy aquarians that has together done some of the greatest fun things in life, have had the craziest time together with love and hate so intricately interwoven and have been able to stick together for all these years. Year 1985 till date and still going strong. Today’s is Kreeti Bhakt’s Birthday…I have no clue why she … Continue reading Happy Birthday – 3 Aquarians

Happy Birthday Lappu

When Mr. Das found his wife at BCB5 he decided to adopt his wife’s best friend too…me. Well, I say “he adopted” and he says “aap to dahej mein aa gaye ho” whatever, doesn’t matter, I found a second home that’s what is important. We used to call Mr. Das’s wife as Lappu in school for some reason I just don’t remember. That Lappu joined the 30s bandwagon today…Yipiee…Happy Birthday Snigs, from now on till 39 it’s the same difference…(and she is all set to kill me for disclosing her age) Snig’s 30th birthday kicked off watching the last few … Continue reading Happy Birthday Lappu

Still 30

  30th Birthday’s gifts, the one time somebody got me flowers… —- Three great people were born on the 23rd day of January, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, Lord Denning and Yours Truly…That’s right Happy Birthday to me.. oh remembered another name, Bal Thackeray. (What a varied range of personalities) Freezing my age at 30…few years down the line you won’t be able to keep track any more :D.   Most frequently asked question on all birthdays, “What plan?” A very depressing one this is, I tell you.   Answer, no plan, you don’t plan your own birthday, your friends and family should … Continue reading Still 30

Happy New year

Another year, another time. Another picture on another wall. Couple of things before I take mom for the new year trip to Mysore, Ooty Coonor etc. Carrying forward a hardware problem. My laptop eating up alphabets, so much so that if I switch if off, I can’t even type my user name and password to reboot. Now this is a major fuck up because it has ruined my plans of travel blogging, live twittering et all. If I can’t switch it on I also won’t be able to transfer the pics from my Digicam to the laptop when I exhaust the cam … Continue reading Happy New year

This morning’s thoughts

Something about the world is different today, and it would never be the same. Mshewta, friend from the core circle at school, lost her mother yesterday. Shaken. The members of their generation have begin to leave. We all have been like family, so many days and hours spent chatting with her, when ever we visited her house aunty would talk more to us. This dussherrah when I went to Delhi I thought I’d go and meet aunty but couldn’t, she wasn’t keeping well for long, the woman had struggeled a lot in life. Gone. Shall always remember her daal parotas, … Continue reading This morning’s thoughts

December Fever

Addendum: This post was featured on Bangalore Mirror dated 28-Dec-07 under the blog talk section. This was the 3rd time this blog got featured under the same section and the 5th time my name appeared in Bangalore Mirror. ————————— December fever as dad calls it, occurs during the last 5 days of the month of December to the Government officials. They are entitled to 8 casual leaves and 2 restricted holidays during a year, they avail around 30 CLs and still they are always left with around 5-6 CLs (Because they never submitted the leave applications) which they avail during … Continue reading December Fever

Her Daughter’s home

“I am going to Bangalore to visit my daughter, see her new home.” Every time Mom will say that to her relatives in this family wedding she is right now attending in Kolkata, they will ask back, “Oh really, so when did she get married? Got kids? A daughter’s home is naturally presumed to be a matrimonial home. Otherwise its just, “my daughter works / studies in Bangalore…lives in some insignificant PG or college hostel. Mom is all proud to tell everybody though, that its her single daughter’s place, she has rented it recently and now setting it up on … Continue reading Her Daughter’s home

Marriage of True Minds

A lot has been happening in life, but not much writing is happening. This December Snig turned a new leaf on her life book. So did I. Our destinies are somewhere connected it seems. Even though I keep reminding myself am an atheist, when I think of the way I came down to Bangalore, met the friends here, vinu, vinayak, snigdha and vinayak’s relationship and now marriage, I can’t help thinking we are all connected in some way somewhere. I am very happy for Snig and Vince, honestly, I have never been happy this way before when our other friend’s … Continue reading Marriage of True Minds

Camping for love

Camping for loveOriginally uploaded by Jace BCB5 Participant Speak Participant # 1 – Hi What collective are you in? Participant # 2 – Oh I am in ‘I found my wife at BCB Collective’ Vinayak Das found his wife Snigdha Sheel (my childhood friend, my eccentric crazy friend cum almost wife) and I found a whole new family at the BCB4. Love BCB, Love Vince and Snigs and Love for Vinu the original Cupid. Thanks for the pic Jace. [PS. Take a larger view of the pic and you’ll see the BCB Badge Vince was happily sporting all day] Continue reading Camping for love

This weekend

The much awaited 4 day weekend is to end in couple of hours. Here’s another of my “This weekend” post. This weekend I realised how comfortable I have become in being alone on my own. I don’t feel bored any more, I don’t mind not talking to anybody for the whole day. I don’t mind not going out anywhere for the entire weekend. I am so calm inside all of a sudden. In fact, to my surprise I realised unsolicited phone calls and other means of displaying interest in me has finally become annoying. So it was very confusing and … Continue reading This weekend

Conversation with mom

Conversation on Gtalk… (Note mom’s typing speed is one 100th of my speed, so I got edge over her while arguing, by the time she frames one argument and types it out I have said 5 more arguments. The conversation was in Bengali am giving the translated version) Me – Mom, when do you plan to come down to Bangalore? am planning to take a flat you can come after that and stay for some long time. Mom – Flat? have you seen already? how much would be the rent… Me – would be around 8-9K have not yet seen … Continue reading Conversation with mom

Weekend Snapshots

This weekend, My sister had a heart break, a real big one. She needs to look for reason to not fall apart. She joined the group I created, 2 years back, to hold myself together, by traveling and knowing how there is so much more to life than just the silly heart and its aches and breaks. But am not sure about this either. This weekend, I was asked out. Somebody asked me to join him for a trip to pondicherry. He had no clue but it has been my dream to do something like this. So, this weekend, for … Continue reading Weekend Snapshots

So what do you do, when

 Disclaimer: The word ‘You’ in the following lines is an assortment of many and not representing ME.    …You admire a guy for the person he is, things he says or does, but you don’t think you can date him coz he is kinda out of your reach and you also don’t know how he feels for you although you have been very vocal about your crush. [you guys have not met each other in real but you meet everyday on Gtalk and he sure does likes talking to you and the conversation always goes great. He also says conversation … Continue reading So what do you do, when

A testimonial for a Beautiful Friend

Its amazing how some people never follow the trend. When every one been saying “hey send me an sms“. He’ll say, “honey text me up“. Samy will you call me, been ill for two days…or text me. though don hav no right nemore but been missing u.” That’s one of the sweetest sms i have ever recieved. The other ones too were from him. This one brought tears – “honey i kno whre it hurts, twasn’t a casual call, called coz i ws rude, called to say sorry (although he never said the words) pls get over it honey” One … Continue reading A testimonial for a Beautiful Friend

Life in Bangalore II

An auto in Bangalore
Typically the case, this auto guy just refused a commuter

Its 11.30 in the night and I can’t sleep.

Came to bed at 10 been tossing and turning since then, eyes are burning, there’s a headache, feeling feverish and yet I can’t sleep. The bloody mind just won’t stop thinking.

I have not been able to understand Bangalore’s weather yet. I am basically a hot person (pun intended), used to taking cold water bath Feb onwards while I was in Delhi. The entire month of Jan when I was in Pune there also I used to take cold water bath, but here I find the water a bit too cold, so I prefer warming it up a bit. May be that’s why ever since I have come here I feel feverish every night and also cough a lot and get up every morning with a headache and sore throat. Just not been able to understand what to do. May be should start taking cold water bath. Continue reading “Life in Bangalore II”

Goodbye Delhi

Scribbling these last few lines as a Delhi based blogger.  Moving to Bangalore in another 6 hours for some uncertain period of time. I have never lived alone, never been to hostel or boarding school, extremely pampered by mom and dad all these years I am taking the rough road finally. Feeling very weird, never thought I would cry while moving out but I am crying. On dinner table tonight dad was as always trying to convince us he doesn’t need any more rice, when we all know that’s his style of saying he needs more, and mom was as … Continue reading Goodbye Delhi

30th Birthday

[Disclaimer: This is purely a personal post, utterly boring, unneccesarily lengthy, containing no literary skills at all, the charecters are unknow to my readers and the situations are non contextual, in short this post is totally uncalled for on this blog. I write it just because I have to write something on each of my birthday. Reading it would be a complete waste of valuable resources. And am not saying these just to grab more attention, I am serious. You can easily skip this post] ———————————– In the month of November 2006 I wrote a mail to some of my … Continue reading 30th Birthday

I was charmed yesterday

I wanted to cry today. Just cry. Not for any particular person or reason. I was charmed yesterday…… damn I hate sequels. Anyways since my friend asked…what happened to the man who charmed me…….. I don’t know what love is? But I always wanted to fall in love. Wanted to give my everything, from body to mind, all my pride, all my fears, all my weaknesses, all my anger, all my laughter, to this one person who would take care of all of them. All my dispositions are meant to find that one person. I didn’t know who would he … Continue reading I was charmed yesterday