My Relationship With My Family Is Broken Beyond Repair

19th February I cannot live alone. I tried but I can’t. I need someone to talk to at end of the day. But I also cannot live with people. I end up making everyone close to me hate me. I don’t know what to do. If after every fuck up everybody tries to convince you it’s all your fault, what should you do with yourself? What should you do if you saw this pattern – that from childhood to date, from school friends to family, if it’s always you vs. everyone else, what does that tell about you? 8th March … Continue reading My Relationship With My Family Is Broken Beyond Repair

A Dead Soul Comes Home After An Eventful Day

A very eventful satisfying day. Volunteering for Aam Aadmi Party, I turn a professional journalist with a mic in hand. On occasion of Women’s Day, we are making a series short videos featuring AAP’s women candidates for upcoming MCD elections. AAP has around 100 women candidates, senior leader Richa Pandey told me that the party is serious about supporting and encouraging more and more women’s political participation. On my way back I booked an OLA Share cab. Interesting conversations and meetings ensued. For the period when I was the only passenger in the cab I struck a conversation with my … Continue reading A Dead Soul Comes Home After An Eventful Day

Why You Must Follow Me On Facebook

Why I insist, vehemently insist, that the men I date, friends I hang out with, and my sister, why I insist that these people must, if they care about me, follow my Facebook updates? Facebook is superficial they say, Facebook makes you narcissistic. Real relationship don’t need facebook. Why Facebook, grow up they say. I will explain why. I am a sum total of 40 years of unusual experiences. I have stored in my heart stories full of funny interesting sad poignant people and events which I carry with myself at all times. My feelings today are shaped by my … Continue reading Why You Must Follow Me On Facebook

Update On House Painting, Call From TISS

Follow up to this: Waiting For A Call From TISS, Mumbai They called me for the written test which is on 10th Feb at Mumbai, so I will be going just for the day. The test is called a Research Aptitude Test. 10 out of 80 people would be taken in the course I have applied for, so it is going to be tough. But there isn’t much that you can study or mug up because it is really about an aptitude, that has to be part of your higher education days, not something you can suddenly develop. So I am … Continue reading Update On House Painting, Call From TISS

Waiting For A Call From TISS, Mumbai

I know I got it tattooed on my arms “Going wherever the wind takes me” but IRCTC plays pretty havoc with ‘going wherever’ doesn’t it. How can we go anywhere unless we plan months in advance for a reserved train ticket and can’t afford to fly. We say the world is so connected today, but traveling anywhere even within India is still so costly and time consuming. Our super fast trains are pathetically slow compared to world standards. Our flights are cheap and plenty but they only connect cities of political or economic importance. I remember when my grandmother expired, … Continue reading Waiting For A Call From TISS, Mumbai

Painting Our House: Important Learning

Important learning, if you are painting your home and want to highlight one of the wall with Asian Paints Royale texture, get it done by the company artists directly. The thekedar won’t be able to do the texture properly. I am very sad with what happened to our wall. For one year I have visualized the colour of our house, I wanted the featured wall in Madder Red, Asian Paint’s colour of the year 2016 and other 3 walls in Yellow Charm. This is part of their Rekindle collection, also a 2016 collection. I love minimalist design, and bold solid … Continue reading Painting Our House: Important Learning

Important Readings on The Jallikattu Ban

My Facebook post on 14th January Now regarding this Jallikattu ban, I don’t care if it’s your tradition religion sport or whatever, you just need to tone down your aggressive demands for this hypermasculine violent culture in which women have absolutely no participation. Each and every image of Jallikattu I have ever seen is about men, unbelievably large crowds of men torturing a bull. What on earth are we celebrating? If this is the sum total of your identity and culture then you need to rethink. Why such an exclusively male culture? Where are the women? Oh I know they … Continue reading Important Readings on The Jallikattu Ban

Government of India And Khadi Calendar Where Modi Replaced Gandhi: Feminist Understanding

First published on Firstpost where I have argued that the Khadi Calendar debate have to go beyond the phallocentrism, and we have to look at feminist interpretation. From Gandhi to Modi, its one man replacing another. The DAVP calendar shows a … Continue reading Government of India And Khadi Calendar Where Modi Replaced Gandhi: Feminist Understanding

Flavia Agnes’s Position On Triple Talaq Sad For Indian Feminism

First published on Firstpost with different headline and slightly edited: A woman facing violence may take various roads to justice – legal-illegal, justified-unjustified, civil, criminal, constitutional. Shayara Bano decided to eliminate the root cause. Her writ petition before Supreme Court seeking a ban on triple talaq, nikah halal and polygamy poses a challenge to the prevalence of religious personal laws over constitution, and threatens the power and position of All India Muslim Personal Law Board (AIMPLB) as the sole custodian and interpreter of Sharia law in India. Following her, Ishrat Jahan raised her head from Bengal and challenged Section 2 … Continue reading Flavia Agnes’s Position On Triple Talaq Sad For Indian Feminism

Sania Farooqui’s fear of UCC unfounded

In response to Code of control | The Indian Express by Sania Farooqui Author herself says there’s no draft of UCC in absence of which it is hard to tell how UCC would affect individual rights. Yet there is an underlying assumption that whatever it will be, will be a means of Hindutva bullying minority. This fear is unfounded. The Hindutva narrative by BJP has ruined UCC debate. They raise it to fan Sanghi ego and divisive politics but any person with slightest idea of laws  and constitution should be assured that UCC doesn’t mean imposing majoritarian laws on minority. If UCC ever comes, it … Continue reading Sania Farooqui’s fear of UCC unfounded

Liberals must support a common civil code, writes Ramachandra Guha | columns | Hindustan Times

it is puzzling to see the Indian Left oppose the push for a common civil code for all citizens, which the Constitution had promised but which successive governments have failed to enact. Back in the 1940s and 50s, Ambedkar and Nehru thought it prudent to first change personal laws in favour of Hindu women, since there was a vigorous reform movement among Hindus (but not however among Muslims). However, they certainly hoped that, in the not too distant future, a gender-just code of personal and family law that applied to all citizens of the Republic, would come to be enacted. … Continue reading Liberals must support a common civil code, writes Ramachandra Guha | columns | Hindustan Times

Uniform Civil Code Will Remain a Polarizing Topic Never Be A Reality

UCC would never be a reality in India because none of the religious bigots would accept a truly uniform code that applies to all. They all want the other group to fall in line and accept whatever they think is uniform but ask them to look at their own personal laws, they won’t accept. For eg. Parsi community, Christian, Hindu they all have certain reservations which they don’t want to change, but want Muslims to fall in line. UCC should have been a compulsory provision instead of directive principle, at the time of making the Constitution and the tyranny of … Continue reading Uniform Civil Code Will Remain a Polarizing Topic Never Be A Reality

I Will Not Be Lost In Your Narrative

14th September My life’s journey is a research paper. On this life I document how relationships fail, friendships fail, how  we build expectations and meet disappointments, what are life’s big mistake. Everything I feel and learn, I write. I write them on Facebook and this blog. SVD perhaps have been keeping an eye on all this. Initially she blocked me so she was not supposed to see my updates but today she came on my page and objected to the fact that I had put up her family’s photo on my featured photo section. It was photo of us taken on the … Continue reading I Will Not Be Lost In Your Narrative

How to care for Sad Person?

You might want to read this first to get the context of the words below. 24th Aug I saw a meme on Facebook which was about how to respond to a sad person. I went though the series of images which explained that you should respond with care, hug and comfort. And I couldn’t help comparing how my friends, SVD in particular responded to my recent bouts of depressive rant on Facebook group messenger, the place where this whole break up played out and ended. These sort of memes are double edged sword. They set such high standard of care … Continue reading How to care for Sad Person?

How Are You Holding Up?

27th July So ever since it happened that SVD my best friend sorry ex-best friend called our friendship off I have been trying to make sense of what happened. I am going back in time trying to reconstruct the month of July to find out where did I go wrong, what did I do? We usually communicate over a group chat but I have been silent on this chat since 11th July, the day I left for Mumbai. On 13th, 15th, 18th July she said things that didn’t make any sense to me except that she has suddenly taken a grave dislike … Continue reading How Are You Holding Up?

The Connection Between Hugh Laurie and Larry King

The talk show host having an air of subtle arrogance, a smug smile on his face, interviewing his guest without enough background research and a habit of cutting the guests sentences abruptly jumping to another question…These were some of the sexy features introduced to the genre of talk shows by the legendary Larry King. His show Larry King Live started in 1985 and ran till 2010 on CNN. Continue reading “The Connection Between Hugh Laurie and Larry King”

Poem: Unwritten

Unwritten

“Our sweetest songs are those
that tell of saddest thoughts”
Our happiest stories are those
that remained unwritten.
You and I are that wonderful story,
like a movie script that never got filmed.
like that rumour going around, a clandestine affair,
a star couple that the fans rooted for,
but which never happened.
We remained unwritten. Continue reading “Poem: Unwritten”

Man Sent Me Photos Of His Dick – What Happened Next?

That was not a click bait using a shocking headline. A man really did send me photos of his manhood last night.

I have met this man just once in my life in 2011. It was a casual date and we had sex. The date was at his place so I already knew what it ‘really’ was and I just wanted to have some fun. I never met him again but we’ve been connected on social media, and over the last five years he has given me hundreds of booty calls some of which I found amusing, some boring, but none offensive. On my part I have been flirtatious but I was always clear in my head that I don’t want to meet him again. I last WhatsApped him in Jan this year, around my birthday when I was getting worked up about not having enough sex in life. Continue reading “Man Sent Me Photos Of His Dick – What Happened Next?”

The News Sucks And There’s a Femicide in Guatamela

Hello people. A confession, the staying off Facebook / Twitter didn’t really work. Social media platforms are no longer just places to share your thoughts but also to seek information and exchange ideas. This bit was missing when we first started blogging. Back then it was only about sharing. So that’s a learning from this experiment. But the sad part is that the news we are accessing on social media is like not even like .1% of the world. I looked up popular news website, NDTV, TOI, BBC, Guardian.co.UK and you know what i found? Everywhere there are only the same 3-4 … Continue reading The News Sucks And There’s a Femicide in Guatamela

Feminist film review Neerja by Sanjukta basu

Feminist Film Review – Neerja, not your predictable strong woman

There is no wronged woman here who wants to take a revenge, no mother who is struggling and fighting all odds to raise her children, no multi-tasking multi-talented woman who manages both work and family, no fierce police officer or successful film star. Neerja was not Jhansi ki Rani or Devi Durga, she was just Neerja and that made all the difference. Continue reading Feminist Film Review – Neerja, not your predictable strong woman

Bharat Mata and Britannia - Embodiment of Nation

Why Every Feminist Should Refuse to Say Bharat Mata Ki Jai

Hyper sexualized images of women in Bollywood item numbers strip them off their identity and reduce them to object of sexual gratification. The image of ‘Bharat Mata’ does exactly the same for the nationalist or patriotic gratification of its citizens. Continue reading Why Every Feminist Should Refuse to Say Bharat Mata Ki Jai

PM Modi’s speech – Text book definition of ‘othering’ of women

First published on Huffington Post India, received over 4K Likes

I heard the PM talking at the Gold scheme launch today. I observed that he was making these terrible blunders, one after the other and I was wondering just how bad it could get. Turned out, it was quite bad if not baddest. What did he do wrong? Well, he used gendered language.

“In India, women don’t have anything, house, car etc are all in the name of husband or son. But she has the gold. The way social structure is, gold is a big weapon of women empowerment. She won’t have home but she is owner of gold. Even the son would not question it, ‘it is mother’s’ they say. This is positive aspect of our culture that has provided for this women empowerment…we should carry on with this culture, our mothers and daughters should continue to feel safe knowing they have gold…” Said the nation’s PM.

See the full speech here

Continue reading “PM Modi’s speech – Text book definition of ‘othering’ of women”