Tinder – Let’s Raise A Toast to Shallow

A list of mean, shallow reasons to judge men and swipe them left (reject) on Tinder Continue reading Tinder – Let’s Raise A Toast to Shallow

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I met Lucky but I didn’t get lucky – Delhi’s Thak Thak Gang’s smooth criminals

Oye Lucky Lucky Oye that Abhay Deol starer film was one of my all-time favourite films. Not anymore for I met a Lucky in my real life.

It happened in broad day light at the Hauz Khas – IIT gate traffic signal, opposite to Essex Farm, amidst a heavy Monday evening traffic and right under the nose of 4 traffic cops posted at the signal.

I was on my way back to my residence in Dwarka after finishing a meeting at the Adchini area. If you know the map of that area you’d know that in order to go to Dwarka or Airport from Adchini which is on your left you have to drive till the signal opposite to Mother’s International School and take a U-turn so that landmarks like Essex Farm, Indian Oil petrol pump or Turcoise Cottage are now on your right. Straight ahead is Hauz Khas and on your left is the IIT gate, you take a free left turn for Dwarka / Airport from this point. Free left turn only if the traffic allows, sometimes it doesn’t. Continue reading “I met Lucky but I didn’t get lucky – Delhi’s Thak Thak Gang’s smooth criminals”

Technology and Breakups

I wrote this on 23rd July 2007 originally. Am republishing it today with some additional updates and copy editing. Enjoy Technology, Breakup and post break up syndrome in the web2.0 style.

[Note: Men Heterosexual men reading this post may replace the masculine words with feminine to be able to identify with the content. Non-heterosexual women may replace masculine with feminine. The post is inclusive of all gender and sexuality]

In the good old days, when people broke up they used to take a bus, train or plane and leave the city forever, so they won’t ever see each other even by chance. They used to tear off all the diary pages, the snaps, greeting cards and love letters and return all gift items so there would be nothing left in their possession which would remind them of each other. Tech made breakups simpler. Nowadays, you’d just have to hit the delete / remove / unfollow button. I’ll tell you how many times and where.

If it’s a very serious break up and you really don’t wanna see his face ever, I mean never ever, remove him from all your IM clients, Gtalk, Yahoo, Skype, MSN etc. Not just remove but block / ignore him wherever possible. On Gtalk blocking means either of you won’t get to see each other’s availability status. You’d always appear as off line to each other. Sending offline messages also wouldn’t work. On yahoo ignoring an ID means the same thing. That ID won’t be able to send you IMs any more. (But there’s a flip side to this, I’ll come back to it in a while)

Continue reading “Technology and Breakups”

User Instructions and Cautionary statements

So the other day Snigdha and I was killing time on Twitter when she came up with some of these really hilarious user instructions and cautionary statements. Here are some of the best ones:

  • User instruction on a pack of tampons, “Not to be used for diarrhea
  • On an iron carton, “Do not iron the clothes which is on your body
  • On a pack of noodles, “Edible content inside, not to be used for knitting
  • And this one is my favorite, on a pack of laxatives, “Please apply for casual leave before consumption.”

It all started when I picked up a pack of eggs from Spencer’s. Not just some ordinary eggs, they were ‘tan shell cage free near organic fresh’ eggs by Keggfarms Pvt. Ltd.

I found the pack very amusing so I read every bit of information that was there on it. On the front side were the words,

tan shell cage free near organic fresh’ and ‘safe delicious bright yolks.’

On the back of the carton they had mentioned the diet of the hens that laid those eggs which basically contained “high quality maze, rice, derivatives, soya, sunflower, limestone, vitamins and other organic plant materials.”

Continue reading “User Instructions and Cautionary statements”

Claiming my blog

After writing this blog for 3 years, having dedicated myself to it like a mother to her child, I have been told that my blog is an orphan. Out there under the technorati skies, amidst the busy blog traffic, moves about my blog my baby barefoot with no one to feed her or provide her with shelter. Not any more though, here I am claiming this blog as MY blog. It so happened that I saw traffic coming to my blog from Technorati. Got curious, track backed the links and landed up in the search factory of Technorati. What I … Continue reading Claiming my blog

Holi: Then & Now

I, Snig and the gang are planning to celebrate the coming holi with lots of fun and frolic. One of the main item on the celebration agenda is to prepare the traditional Gujia for all. Gujia reminded me of writing this post. Holi, is the festival of colors, some blue (sad) some green (envy) and some purple (melancholy), not all colors are happy colors you see.  This is a piece I actually wrote last year on the day of Holi, late at night when all the colors were over. Last year also I and Snig made Gujia and this piece … Continue reading Holi: Then & Now

Happy Birthday Lappu

When Mr. Das found his wife at BCB5 he decided to adopt his wife’s best friend too…me. Well, I say “he adopted” and he says “aap to dahej mein aa gaye ho” whatever, doesn’t matter, I found a second home that’s what is important. We used to call Mr. Das’s wife as Lappu in school for some reason I just don’t remember. That Lappu joined the 30s bandwagon today…Yipiee…Happy Birthday Snigs, from now on till 39 it’s the same difference…(and she is all set to kill me for disclosing her age) Snig’s 30th birthday kicked off watching the last few … Continue reading Happy Birthday Lappu

Billi Bachao Andolan

Breaking News. Parents in the Indian metropolis seen marching on the street with placards reading, ‘billi bachao’1 The main reason of protest is the emerging trends amongst their wards to feed billis with milk, whenever wherever they feel like. They often don’t let parents scrutinise the quality or source of the milk. Milk from unreliable sources are injurious to the social health of the billi and its kith and kin. Their demand is the enactment of a law to establish a system of granting licence to feed the billi with milk. The said license can be granted by Government, Courts … Continue reading Billi Bachao Andolan

This weekend

The much awaited 4 day weekend is to end in couple of hours. Here’s another of my “This weekend” post. This weekend I realised how comfortable I have become in being alone on my own. I don’t feel bored any more, I don’t mind not talking to anybody for the whole day. I don’t mind not going out anywhere for the entire weekend. I am so calm inside all of a sudden. In fact, to my surprise I realised unsolicited phone calls and other means of displaying interest in me has finally become annoying. So it was very confusing and … Continue reading This weekend

Mom and Dad are separating

This blog is getting a lot of traffic off late and I feel stressed trying to live up to reader’s expectations and maintain the overall quality. One of the causes of worry is that I don’t know what exactly people like about my blog. JD Salinger’s protagonist from ‘Catcher in the Rye’ once said, he liked reading those books the most where he felt he could call up the author as if the author was his buddy and discuss the characters and events in the book. Perhaps that’s what people like about this blog. Given that it mostly is a … Continue reading Mom and Dad are separating

29 female divorcee and 30 Single Forever – Our songs

29, Female, Divorcee having affair with 25 Male:- do you know what song’s playing in my mind, “Bade Acche lagte hai, yeh dharti, yeh ambar, yeh raina, aur tum…” [They all feel so good, the earth, the sky, the night and you] 30, Female, Forever Single friend:- Huh, stupid mushy song. Song I am listening, “dham dham dharam dhadaiya re, sab se bada ladaiya re, Omkara…” [Hail Ho there, the greatest of all fighters, Omkara] Continue reading 29 female divorcee and 30 Single Forever – Our songs

Sticky post

Life in Bangalore II

An auto in Bangalore
Typically the case, this auto guy just refused a commuter

Its 11.30 in the night and I can’t sleep.

Came to bed at 10 been tossing and turning since then, eyes are burning, there’s a headache, feeling feverish and yet I can’t sleep. The bloody mind just won’t stop thinking.

I have not been able to understand Bangalore’s weather yet. I am basically a hot person (pun intended), used to taking cold water bath Feb onwards while I was in Delhi. The entire month of Jan when I was in Pune there also I used to take cold water bath, but here I find the water a bit too cold, so I prefer warming it up a bit. May be that’s why ever since I have come here I feel feverish every night and also cough a lot and get up every morning with a headache and sore throat. Just not been able to understand what to do. May be should start taking cold water bath. Continue reading “Life in Bangalore II”

How we F***ed the Idlis

Joint effort by Sanjukta and Constant Motion. At the outset a piece of irrelevant information. Constant motion who was formerly known as Encounter Specialist is my (Sanjukta) child hood friend we have been bickering and tolerating each other for the past 20 years.  And now we have started calling each other husband and wife. Constant motion being the nagging wife and Sanjukta being this lost husband. Went school together, college together and now working together. Both relocated to Bangalore recently.  In all our excitement of celebrating the kick start of our independent existence as single super women, on our first … Continue reading How we F***ed the Idlis

Life at the T-point

I always stand at a particular place on my office terrace, to have my sutta. There is a T-point there accross the road. Off late I have picked up an interesting habit of standing there ‘combusting that insignificant 5 mins of my life’ while keeping an eye on that t-point and everything that happens there. A ‘T-point’ is a point on the road from where you can either take a left or a right, there’s no going ahead. The first time I casually had a look at it, it struck me how in life I have had to stand in … Continue reading Life at the T-point

Diwali 06

This existence in the cyber world can at times take a toll on you. I don’t mean my blog to be a digital diary, so I don’t write about every day things on it. But then every time I meet someone online they ask me the same questions bout my life and I find myself typing the same damn lines over and over again. Fingers ache man. The latest being ‘so how was diwali‘…Uff why don’t people understand. For them its a casual opening line to a chat conversation which should ideally be answered in a monosyllable… good, bad or … Continue reading Diwali 06

Absurd Poetry

Tried my hand at absurd poetry as a writing exercise on Caferati… Absurd? Yeah absurd! Oh ok, I thought absurd. You’re so weird. ‘Weird’ isn’t absurd. Like I care. ‘Care’ is absurd. Here, your paper. Yes that’s absurd. Pepper isn’t absurd. Paper is absurd. Knees hurt. Pain absurd. Getting cold. Axe is here. Hear something? Shrieks absurd. Power gone You where? At absurdicity dear. Continue reading Absurd Poetry

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These day’s I am reading the autobiography of Lord Denning. I too would be writing one na…so taking some tips from him… :D But of all the people why him. Well there’s a reason. You know I feel a strange connection with him ever since I came to know that I shared my Birthday with him…I think I was Lord Denning in my past life (that can’t be cause he was alive till 1999) Me and Denning also happen to Share our birthdays with Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose. Soon after marriage Prithviraj’s Sanjukta decided to study law and aspired to … Continue reading #

Stupid fairy and Dear Nitish

The modern day bollywood is finally making a movie on the eternal Love of Sanjukta and Prithviraj Chauhan. Finally people would pronounce my name properly… I remember having read their love story when I was 6 or 7, in an Amar Chitra Katha comic. Can’t remember much now just this bit, that this guy prithviraj was a King and he was in love with this girl Sanjukta. At 6 it wasn’t really my fault if I thought that girl was me. So this king wanted to marry her. Ofcourse marry, TP dating, flirting, living in and stuffs weren’t known at … Continue reading Stupid fairy and Dear Nitish

My write up for Bribe Delhi website

“Sab log dhyan se suniye, abhi aapko Room No. *** mein jaana hai. Wahan aapko ek written test dena hoga. 20 questions hoga sab ke char answer honge, teen galat ek sahi. Aap wahan jaayenge hamara pen dikhayenge, Aapko question bilkul nahi padna hai, kisi bhi ek option pe tick maarna hai. I repeat, quetions padke time waste mat kariye aapke peeche aur bhi log honge isliye jaldi se pen dikhaiyee, 18 question pe tick maarke jaakar bus mein baith jayenge. Shaam ko hamare office se learner license collect kar lena.” Check out my latest post on the Community BLOG … Continue reading My write up for Bribe Delhi website

Dating Etiquette Act, 2005

Dating Etiquette Act, 2005 An Act to codify the legislator’s ideas regarding the term called dating and to clear the stupid clichéd meaning given to the concept by the Indian middle class Chapter – I – Preliminary Short title and Extent – The law hereunder may collectively be known as the ‘dating Act’ and would be extended to any and every man irrespective of any caste, creed, race, age, region, religion or country, who wishes to, have at any point of time in the past 28 years had and does dates me with both retrospective and prospective effect. Definitions – … Continue reading Dating Etiquette Act, 2005

Anti Climax

21st May 2005 It was a terrible day today, bad start with a horrible fight with mom and sis. It was upsetting, sad. I felt like leaving the house and never come back. I can do that. Have even had packed my bags once, but alas, the logistics did not fell in the right place. Could not afford to leave the luxuries daddy gave me. The fully automatic washing machine, the colour TV with cable connection, the gadgets in kitchen, dining hall, drawing room, the cooler etc and above all the PC with DSL connection (I think I have to … Continue reading Anti Climax

Conversation Funny and Weird on yahoo messenger……

Guy #1 – Why are u still single? Me – am not too sure Me – you think about it and lemme know if you have an answer Guy #2 – hi Guy #2 – so u a lawyer Me – yup Guy #2 – who is there at your home Me – mom, dad, sister Guy #2 – no brother?? Me – no Guy #2 – do u hav a pic…… Guy #3 : what is this MPS (multiple personality syndrome) all about? Me : i have split personality Me : there’s only a thin difference between me and … Continue reading Conversation Funny and Weird on yahoo messenger……