Cancer The Misfortune That Fell On Us

3rd April 2017 Cancer. Not a disease but a culture. A major story twist. The deadly misfortune has been part of the most tragic films and literature. Mostly it would be the male protagonist, he falls sick and doctors tell him, “You have last stage Cancer, only few days of your life are left” and then an dramatic scene follows. “Ab inhe dawa ki nahi dua ki zaroorat hai (She needs prayers now not medicine)” is a much clichéd dialogue from hindi films of yesteryears. In real life however, among friends and family such misfortune was rarely heard. With advancement … Continue reading Cancer The Misfortune That Fell On Us

“Take Her To Another Hospital” Max Hospital Emergency Didn’t Give Treatment Because No Room To Admit Patient

A 63 year old patient with severe fluid in both lungs, rapidly decreasing oxygen saturation (90 to 85 to 81 percent within few hours) and increasing breathing trouble was not given any treatment at Max Hospital Emergency, simply because they had no room to admit her. “Take her to another hospital” said the Max Hospital Emergency doctor and person in-charge of admitting. My mother’s both lungs were filled with fluids. She wasn’t able to breath. Our ordinary understanding is that the fluids from her lungs needed to be drained out. We had with us two X-ray reports which clearly showed … Continue reading “Take Her To Another Hospital” Max Hospital Emergency Didn’t Give Treatment Because No Room To Admit Patient

The News Sucks And There’s a Femicide in Guatamela

Hello people. A confession, the staying off Facebook / Twitter didn’t really work. Social media platforms are no longer just places to share your thoughts but also to seek information and exchange ideas. This bit was missing when we first started blogging. Back then it was only about sharing. So that’s a learning from this experiment. But the sad part is that the news we are accessing on social media is like not even like .1% of the world. I looked up popular news website, NDTV, TOI, BBC, Guardian.co.UK and you know what i found? Everywhere there are only the same 3-4 … Continue reading The News Sucks And There’s a Femicide in Guatamela

When Old People Don’t Know They Are Old And Are Stubborn

Alright whenever mom is not around I have a lot of issues with dad. This blog has already seen evidence of that. Since last night he’s given me 10 warnings that, “Tomorrow, early morning, I would go to Sarojini Nagar Market.” In this heat, he wants to venture out, go to Sarojini from Dwarka, changing two buses for some work he can easily do on a weekday after office hours, maybe by adjusting a few hours here and there. He would never taken an auto (three-wheeler). He has NEVER taken an auto or cab in his entire life for himself alone. Can anybody … Continue reading When Old People Don’t Know They Are Old And Are Stubborn

Love is not complicated people are

10th Oct 2015

Last night the adda at SVD’s place was particularly fun, I cannot remember when was the last time I laughed so much. Perhaps it was the good Icelandic liquor and potent dope or a recently heart broken R who opened up a lot more than he usually does or a frustrated M who cannot make one coherent statement without cribbing about the lack of a man in her life or SVD who always asks these interesting questions for which you’d always give some ridiculous answer or all of the above. If there would have been a hidden camera somewhere in the room and somebody saw the recording of our conversation it would have made wonderful comedy. Continue reading “Love is not complicated people are”

On reconnecting

“People move on, get hurt, come back and find me there still.” On reconnecting with a man who used to have a crush on me a decade ago. He still remembers the crush. Told him I was always just a text away. There is nothing worse than two lonely friends not connecting with each other. It just kills me when my single eligible bachelor friends come and tell me how lonely they are. I am like, dude, am I invisible or what? I am single eligible and available, why are we not dating? It was a day of re-connecting with friends, … Continue reading On reconnecting

The woman and her sewing machine – portrait of Indian middle class mother in 70s-80s

The Singer sewing machine is a cultural symbol from a bygone era. Every woman or man has their own memory and story around the Singer machine. My mom’s story begins when at the age of 11 she lost her mother. The sound of her mother working on the singer sewing machine till late night, when the kids were asleep, was one of the strongest memories she had left behind for my mother to hold on to. Continue reading “The woman and her sewing machine – portrait of Indian middle class mother in 70s-80s”

I met Lucky but I didn’t get lucky – Delhi’s Thak Thak Gang’s smooth criminals

Oye Lucky Lucky Oye that Abhay Deol starer film was one of my all-time favourite films. Not anymore for I met a Lucky in my real life.

It happened in broad day light at the Hauz Khas – IIT gate traffic signal, opposite to Essex Farm, amidst a heavy Monday evening traffic and right under the nose of 4 traffic cops posted at the signal.

I was on my way back to my residence in Dwarka after finishing a meeting at the Adchini area. If you know the map of that area you’d know that in order to go to Dwarka or Airport from Adchini which is on your left you have to drive till the signal opposite to Mother’s International School and take a U-turn so that landmarks like Essex Farm, Indian Oil petrol pump or Turcoise Cottage are now on your right. Straight ahead is Hauz Khas and on your left is the IIT gate, you take a free left turn for Dwarka / Airport from this point. Free left turn only if the traffic allows, sometimes it doesn’t. Continue reading “I met Lucky but I didn’t get lucky – Delhi’s Thak Thak Gang’s smooth criminals”

Night in and outside my bedroom

It’s 3 am. The sky outside is thundering and pouring. I can’t sleep. I find the night so much more interesting than day, that I don’t feel like sleeping over it. Right now, all is quiet. Am alone in my room, on my bed. This space is so secure, so comfortable, so completely mine. No intruders, no door bells, no phone calls. Nobody to see me or judge me or question me. I feel free of all inhibitions at nights.

Continue reading “Night in and outside my bedroom”

Matter

23rd July 2012

I would never be able to explain it to anybody, including myself, how much it helps, writing a blog post at the most vulnerable times of my life. The only way I can ever express myself is by typing my heart out right here, away from every human eyes.

So what happened today?

Just what I was always afraid of, my worst fears came up to me laughing and dancing in front of my eyes, making ugly scary faces at me. I feared this day would come and did my best to avoid it, but I couldn’t. And when it came, I couldn’t express any of the emotions I felt, from anger to pain to melancholy.  I couldn’t say the last few things I wanted to say, couldn’t do it my way. Right in front of my eyes, a whole damn world collapsed and I just stood there.

Continue reading “Matter”

That emotional intimacy issue…

Update dt 3-Jun-2012 – This is a rant.

Its about 1.30 am, in exactly 12.5 hours I am required to present my Business Plan at our 10000 women program, in front of a special panel. My B-plan is not even 40% complete. And yet I am on this blog.

I am here because I desperately need to write, need to communicate and I just don’t have anybody to talk to.

Here in this campus I am staying with 13 other wonderful ladies, each one of them are amazing listeners and they give great responses and feedback to most conversations. I have been spending my days talking to them, laughing and cracking jokes every now and then.

But I cannot ‘talk’ to any of them.

Its that emotional intimacy issue. I can write my heart out on this computer, and as soon as I would hit the publish button it would be up for mass public viewing and that wouldn’t bother me but I cannot talk to the 13 people I have known, for last 3 months, staying in the next few rooms of this hostel. Weird! Continue reading “That emotional intimacy issue…”

The heart is not where the dick is

The heart is so not where my dick is. If I were a man, I would have said that about my current situation. So change the ‘vital instrument’ to something more befitting my gender, you would get my point right. I don’t know what else to call this but love and I just feel so ridiculous and helpless about it. I mean what is one supposed to do with this stupid feeling. All said and done, this longing has no future, this is a doomed love. I so don’t want to be in it. I always had a lot of theories about love. “Love can’t happen … Continue reading The heart is not where the dick is

Alone and alive (Final Chapter of Book of Romance-Part 1)

This blog is back in action with its original content, feelings and emotions from the bottom of my heart, bare truth for the world to read. I spent all of 2010 worrying over the fact that everybody who knew me in real life, all the friends, the family members, colleagues, read my blog too often and so I couldn’t share everything that I wanted to share without inhibitions. But of late I have started to notice that the readership of this blog is again impersonal, the audience is made up of faceless strangers like it was when I first started … Continue reading Alone and alive (Final Chapter of Book of Romance-Part 1)

So it was my birthday yesterday

Photo0052
With sis and her friends

That is on 23rd of Jan. It was also the birthday of Netaji Subhash, Bal Thackeray and Lord Denning. I simply cannot stop obsessing over the coincidence of my birth date matching with these men, a fierce freedom fighter, the original Indian Godfather and one of the most popular Jurist who worked so much for individual liberty. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that the mere coincidence of my birth date and my name has influenced me for most part of my life.

Continue reading “So it was my birthday yesterday”

Boats on the water, not steps on the ladder

The greatest tragedy of my life is that my parents and my nearest and dearest family don’t understand what do I do in life, who am I. Since they don’t know, from there it follows, they are not proud of me, not particularly ashamed but not proud to the extent that when it comes to answering the question, “What does your daughter do?” they stutter and fumble with words, not sure of what to say as if I don’t do anything worth mentioning, only to finally say “she did her LLb”.

Continue reading “Boats on the water, not steps on the ladder”

Hello again, life

You know what they say about professionalism, that you cannot be personal.

The last few months, in fact the whole year I barely blogged, whatever I did write, like updates on my professional life, my new entrepreneurial venture, some of my interviews that got published on other blogs, none of these were really stuff that belonged to here. I mean shut up, this blog was about my personal stories straight from the heart. I have somewhere betrayed my blog because people kept telling me, “No you can’t keep writing about men” that just isn’t professional. 

It has been a struggle for me to explain it to a lot of people in my life, exactly why did they give me a TED Fellowship. The answer is this blog and its unapologetic ‘personal’ content.

Personal is powerful. It has strengthen me and now I preach it, personal blogging.

It’s not often that we come across people who we have inspired. Recently, I found this blog post where the author have linked to one of my interview and wrote how reading me has inspired her to blog about the truth of her life. In her closing line she said,

Here’s hoping that we all find the courage to blog about our Truths.

I think I am really lucky that something I did was able to inspire others. Most people spend their whole life making it big in so many ways, career, relationships, wealth and yet mostly they fail to inspire others.

So here’s to coming back to the beginning. No more professional updates, no more political opinions, no more agendas, just plain old truth from  my life, my bare soul the nakedness of which, I have been told, inspires and strengthens women. And that’s a feeling I cannot let go no matter how unprofessional I may appear.

~ Continue reading “Hello again, life”

Tag this one as dark, depress, scream

“A 100 years from now, who are you to be, reading me with curiosity?” ~ Rabindra Nath Tagore

If I could paint I would make a painting. Four walls and me, leaning on a corner, screaming. Scream till I lose my voice. Just scream. On the final day, when all of this will be over, I will have so much to say, to so many people, but I will no longer be able to speak. All my thoughts will just make one big mass of noise, a scream.

Thoughts bubbling up, but nothing left to say. Yet I am here to say, say it out loud. This life I lived without love, is scared, to die without love. Life you better be interesting, else you be short. Life you are getting too heavy, find it hard to carry, how far to go? When is it going to be over? I can’t wait to see what happens in the end. Broken heart, will you mend? I know it is going to be a reckless journey, we will bury every hope and dream, we will only carry this body of mass, blood and greed. We will put this body up for garbs, for vultures and hyenas to hog, but in the end a 100 years from now, will we win life?

Continue reading “Tag this one as dark, depress, scream”

Public Announcement: I am no longer associated with Bell Bajao

November 2009, Samode Palace, Rajasthan, ‘Breakthrough’ was having its strategic planning and retreat. In an interactive game the staff were asked to mention the date/month they joined Breakthrough and how has their journey been so far.

When it was my turn I said, “I joined Breakthrough one and half months back and if jobs were relationships I will have to say, I have seen many people, been in many relationships of all kinds, but with Breakthrough its like I met my dream man and for the first time I am in a committed relationship, I am here to stay in Breakthrough.”

But in life and in relationship nothing goes as per your plans. Barely 6 months down I have quit the job which I thought was my dream job. It typically feels like a breakup, so many plans, like dreams, are shattered, so many ideas couldn’t be executed. The momentum I gained with the social media part of the Bell Bajao campaign, the path I had taken the preparations that were underway – all came to a sudden end.

Continue reading “Public Announcement: I am no longer associated with Bell Bajao”

Love is not your bailout

You will know when you will meet your soul mate, you’ll just know. There’s no way you’ll be wondering, “Is this my soul mate?”

A soul mate is a part of you which you didn’t even know exist, which was lost but you didn’t realize until you found it. Like sometimes while moving your furniture during spring cleaning that old crayon or that scrap book emerges from some corner and you immediately remember how much you loved it and how you didn’t even realize you had lost it.

What do you do when you meet him/her, the soul mate? What will you do with that crayon? You’ll not let it go. Once you’ll meet your soul mate you’ll not want to be away for another moment. When Harry Met Sally, Harry said, “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

Continue reading “Love is not your bailout”

The chase: The First date

Update: 17th May 2010 – I had earlier kept this post in private mode making it public today, because enough time has passed and that guy didn’t ask me for a second date and now I don’t think I am going to see him again.

This is a follow up to my previous post ‘The search the chase and the soulmate

Readers will remember I mentioned about meeting a person over twitter and talking to him via Gtalk. Well we chatted some more through last month on Google Talk and have finally decided to meet this weekend.

Usually the sequence of events is like this – you first meet over blogs and twitter, move on to gtalk, exchange phone numbers and then SMSs and then finally meet. Till this point it is very predictable, but what happens after the first date?

In my case mostly its nothing. I rarely move on to a second date. No body ever wants to spend more time with me or know me better or take care of me or love me. Sometimes some of the men I meet want to sleep with me but a quality relationship is never on their mind.

Continue reading “The chase: The First date”

Another Bizarre dream: Anybody to interpret?

My dreams are getting Bizarre by the day. I dream every night, never have a sound sleep and usually wake up with a strange feeling. Sometimes I can remember them, sometimes I don’t, if they were too strong and bizarre I write them down. This was last night’s dream.

To set the context: I Went to bed at 5 after watching Changeling for the second time.

Sequence of the various scenes just as they appeared in my dream:

A typical scene from a natural disaster or unnatural forces film – I am standing along with many other people, the earth suddenly start shaking, I see buildings in front of me start moving, the shaking increases and we all began to scream and shout . I hear myself saying, Oh my God, Oh my God so many times and I had the fear of the earth coming to an end right here right now. I can’t remember where my family was; as the fear grew I woke up.

I slept off again and started the second part of the dream

Continue reading “Another Bizarre dream: Anybody to interpret?”

Information Overload

Frequency of post on this blog has gone down so miserably because too many people are now reading it. It has always remained a personal blog where I used to write all my deepest feelings. But not any more. Now, recently I went out on a date. Like a proper date. The most obvious thing to do after that is to tell people via this blog, how it went, how I feel about the guy and how are things shaping. But I can’t do so cause he will read it. He is everywhere, on blog, twitter, facebook. This is exactly … Continue reading Information Overload

The search, the chase and the soulmate

I don’t know if its a coincidence or not but I happen to write whenever it pours unexpectedly and beautifully in the National Capital. And these writings always come in mind while I am coming home from work. In 2005, I used to work in Nehru Place, I thought of this post while sitting in the auto. In 2006 I was stuck in a bus stop, unable to find any bus or auto to my home in Dwarka, the rain was so beautiful I took some impromptu photos. Today it rained again. I had just taken the car out of … Continue reading The search, the chase and the soulmate

Birthday 2010 – Am I any wiser?

This weekend it is my Birthday. Read my previous Birthday posts – 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006 10 am No body called at mid-night this year. Of all the friends only Snigdha called so far. She asked if I am feeling any wiser and any more prudent with another year added to life. Good question. Well I am certainly less freaky this year about people not calling me to wish. I mean I care less because I understand that people are busy. Most friends have got married, had babies and have complicated their lives. So ya may be I am wiser … Continue reading Birthday 2010 – Am I any wiser?

Happy New Year, that dream is still there

And just like that the year 2009 went by. Exactly the same way went ’07 and ’08 with the blink of an eye, leaving me behind with many exciting moments, many reasons  to smile, many moments of pride and success, and some same old blank sheets, and that same old yet to realize dream.

TED India

I was not writing on this space for quite some time now. Quite a few drafts were lying unfinished in the drafts folder. First one was about my TED experiences, how I felt that men who do not take the tried and tested easy road, the one with a 9 to 5 job, wife and kids, end up studying about crocodiles and dragonflies and exploring the Himalayas and green deserts. While the women who don’t take the tried and tested road, the one with a mangalsutra and a kitchen, end up becoming feminists. Continue reading “Happy New Year, that dream is still there”

In anticipation of life to come, mourning a life gone.

RIP - Jango the dingoJango at his daily vigil

This morning we lost our dog Jango.

He was 11 and a half years old. He had never shown signs of old age until last Sunday when he refused to eat his meals.

This was the first time ever that he said no to any thing that was edible. He was the most hungry dog we’ve ever known. Naturally it worried us all. On Monday, my mom, dad and sister took him to the Vet. The Vet said, “he doesn’t have any ailment as such, just signs of old age, give him liquid food, he’ll be fine.”

But his conditioned worsened during the week. Meanwhile on Tuesday my sister and mom had to travel to Kolkata and other places which they wanted to cancel considering jango wasn’t well but the vet assured them that the situation wasn’t so serious. He also assured that I need not take a flight to Delhi immediately. He said he has enough time to live but of course he is getting old. So mom and sis went ahead with the travel plan leaving Dad to look after Jango. I am of course based out of a different city.

And here in Bangalore I came over to stay at Snigdha-Vinayak’s place for couple of days since the doctor said Snigdha might go into labour any time now. In case it happens in the night, Vince would drive there should be somebody to sit with her. The big news also came that their dogs Pondy and Alleppy are also gonna be parents, Alleppey is pregnant.

Continue reading “In anticipation of life to come, mourning a life gone.”

This weekend – night drive, motherhood, lost love and more

This weekend and another weekend this month or last month, the Saturday evenings were spent at SnigdhaVinayak’s place. What I usually do is land up at their place for lunch and then hang around till dinner. Towards the evening we always go to the terrace and enjoy the breeze and do a lot of talking. Three of us are amazing talkers. There is not another soul besides my sister with who I can talk so much on so many varied topics as much as I do with Snig and Vince.

Today when we were sitting on the terrace I had told the universe via twitter, “am with @snigdha @lighttripper on their terrace. They are few meters away from me yet this I can only tweet, not say – I love you guys.” For emotional intimate communication twitter works for me, I can’t ever say I love you face to face.

Continue reading “This weekend – night drive, motherhood, lost love and more”

Chugging along

The train is now chugging through the hills, going in and out of tunnels every now and then. Manoshi is tapping her foot to the rhythm of a certain song playing on her MP3 player and she is reading a book. There’s no one else in the compartment. As the train entered a tunnel again, she lifted her eyes from the book and stared at the darkness outside the window. A faint smile appeared on her face while she took a deep breathe in memory of the people who just got off the previous station. It was a bunch of … Continue reading Chugging along

Going to attend ‘India Lies in You,’ Quitting from Mutiny’s Managing Editor position

Phew! So much is going on in life, just don’t have the time to blog. This person asked, “whats up?” Now for some it might just be a conversation starter but for me it is a dilemma, should I or shouldn’t I start telling what all is really up. Let me see, umm, from the last time we met, work, hectic, health bad, food outside, activities, NDTV, We the people, Barkha Dutt, happy, Mutiny, stress, friend, hope-to-be-boyfriend, fight, patch up, love, sex, valentine’s day, free hugs campaign, fame some more, travel, Goa…Those are the things that has been up off late. I don’t think you’ll like it if I really start talking about what’s up, and that’s why my safe answer would be “nothing much, life in general.”

Continue reading “Going to attend ‘India Lies in You,’ Quitting from Mutiny’s Managing Editor position”

A star was born

[Scene – I, 22nd Jan 1977, Jalpaiguri a small town in north West Bengal]

She spent all of last night sobbing in his arms. “The doctor said 21st is the date but I never had a labour pain. And now the baby has even stopped moving. Some thing must be wrong with the baby, I am so scared, and you are leaving me here all alone. Why must you leave? Shouldn’t you be worried that the baby is not moving? Yes I did tell ma about it, she said few days here and there from the predicted date is fine. But I am scared. We should go to a good doctor, the Government hospitals are no good. Just because I don’t have a family of my own you people are doing this to me. If I had my parents they would have taken me to a good nursing home for a checkup.” She sobbed and sobbed.

All that sobbing really got Gora worried. It was barely dawn when he rushed to his mother’s room. “Ma, your bouma is very worried, it seems the baby is not moving, let us take her to a doctor come with me.”

They went to Dr. Banerjee’s private clinic. He took one look at Mita and said it cannot be a normal delivery. Dr. Banerjee isn’t a very sweet person. One would often hear him saying, “I don’t have time to be nice, I have lives to save.”

He asked Gora rather rudely, “when was your return to Kolkta again?”

“Er, I thought I would leave tomorrow.” Gora could sense doctor Banerjee wasn’t very pleased.

“What? Leave tomorrow. Your wife is going to deliver a baby any time now and you have plans to return to work, leave her alone here, don’t you people have any sensibility. Go cancel your tickets or whatever. There has to be a seizure, you will have to sign a bond. Leaving tomorrow it seems.” He sounded disgruntled

Mita had to be immediately admitted.

Continue reading “A star was born”

Life in Bangalore: On staying alone in my proud house

25th October 08

Over the past few weeks I have been going through, what I understand it to be, the most depressing phase of my life. I never knew what exactly depression means and how it gives you a fuckall feeling all through the day. I don’t feel like going out of the walls I live in. Some times I feel like sleeping for long hours which is to say for 18-20 hours, sometimes I can’t sleep at all, I lay awake on my bed all night or spend the whole night staring at the laptop screen even when I have nothing to do on it. I have been skipping work every other day, and even when I am at work I am being un-productive.

Every thing around me either irritates me or makes me angry or hyper emotional inducing sudden large drops of tears. Heck! I even had a few drops rolling down my cheek watching Obama win. As I heard Arnab Goswami echoing on Times Now, “this is uh one man’s uh historical journey…” I felt a lump in my throat and I went, “Fuck you Arnab, making me emotional over something I just don’t care about, what are you, the fat lady from the Opera.”

Continue reading “Life in Bangalore: On staying alone in my proud house”

Thanks

Furobiker Abhishek, Lakshmi, Kalyan, Arnold, Aneesha, Seema, PP, Eddie, Rashmi, Snigdha and Anantha – Thanks to each one of you for still being around. I bestow upon you the ‘Most loyal reader‘ awards. And from this day on this blog is going to start a new chapter in its life with 11 of its most loyal readers. The previous post got 83 unique page views half of them came through web half of them from RSS feed but only 11 commented. I am going to start this new chapter by establishing a personal relationship with these 11 readers, I don’t … Continue reading Thanks

Long time, I know

Did anybody miss me? A lot has been going on. Will tell you all about it. Blame Twitter for the lack of blogging by the way. They made it so easy to express in such few words that you dont’ wanna write long pages anymore. A few drafts are lying around since November. Will publish them shortly. But meanwhile just wanted to check who all are still reading this blog. If you are here, could you please leave a message? Please? And oh, for more regular updates follow me on Twitter. You’d love my tweets. Continue reading Long time, I know

If you were a poet, would you write a song for me?

I asked, to someone I had a casual sex with, “Do you ever think about me?”

He is also a friend, actually first a friend, the sex was like really casual and I am not even thinking of making it a regular activity, not because he wasn’t good, he was, but because sex can’t hold me for too long. It only stays for the night.

So I asked, do you ever think about me? He said, “Of course I do, I just didn’t get the time to ping or call you, been very busy.”

No, I didn’t ask that question because I was missing him, I don’t miss anybody. Well that’s not completely true, but let’s leave it at that. I asked to understand something about me, something I have never known and though I am not sure but I think most women know that thing about themselves.

What is it about my physical being that people remember when I am not around? Do they remember me as the girl who had a great smile? The girl who was so cute, talkative, energetic? If they were writers, would any of them be able to write nice lines on my eyes? Or on how the touch of my lips felt, or how my skin glow, or how my sweet voice seduced them to the point of ecstasy?

Continue reading “If you were a poet, would you write a song for me?”

Long time no incoherence

Dr. Motion accused me of paying more attention to Mutiny and extending step motherly attitude to TIMT.

Well she is right. Blogging has not been really happening the way it used to be 3 years back. There is no particular reason for it. I just don’t feel so much anymore to be expressed. I feel a lot about the political issues in the country which I express on Mutiny or if I have to use profanity I go to TIMM.

There isn’t much of a personal life to be blogged about anyway. Very cliched it is but the right word is, ‘comfortably numb’ (what would we sad people do without a Roger Waters) No romance to pursue, no heart aches, no more dreams to be broken.

To make matter worse, something happened in the recent past, on a Let’s Go trip to be precise, which made me go into a withdrawal state of mind, where I felt like withdrawing myself from everything in life.

Socializing activities was the first casualty of this state. I am a very vulnerable person. In the real world out there it’s very easy to hurt me. Most of the time I am easy going, I don’t mind people pulling my legs, if you are making fun of me I would rather smile and ignore instead of making a big deal out of it. Unfortunately, I haven’t learnt where to draw the line so people come and walk all over me and I can’t even say a thing.

Continue reading “Long time no incoherence”