Conversation on Gtalk…

(Note mom’s typing speed is one 100th of my speed, so I got edge over her while arguing, by the time she frames one argument and types it out I have said 5 more arguments. The conversation was in Bengali am giving the translated version)

Me – Mom, when do you plan to come down to Bangalore? am planning to take a flat you can come after that and stay for some long time.

Mom – Flat? have you seen already? how much would be the rent…

Me – would be around 8-9K have not yet seen but will start looking

Mom – 8-9k that’s costly how would u afford?

Me – will share it with a friend

Mom – who friend

Me – one amongst the close circle that I hang out with here, Ted, I told you about him, now don’t freak out at him being a guy…

Mom – of course I would freak out..

Me – why, what’s with him being a guy, and if it was a girl all was good? Can’t 2 girls be lesbians? Please mom, is there only one relationship possible between a man and a woman?

Mom – Thank god your dad is not reading all these lines, he would have died of shame reading all these, although I have always been walking ahead with changing times.

Me – Yes, there is no other option, you’d have to change with me and with changing times…your daughter is no ordinary daughter I can’t lead the plain and simple life that most people lead, I am not causing any pain or trauma to you people, am I? but I have certain principles in life, like you know the Marxist principle that maamu follows, whether it’s marriage or death you don’t do extravaganza, that way I have some feminist principles in my life which I cannot discard… mom please don’t get annoyed…

[Now pay attention, this is the climax :P]

Mom – Ok, we won’t do extravaganza, if you don’t want a pomp and show…at least you could have done a registry…

The End

Lol… Mom thought I am planning to live in with a guy instead of marrying him. The conversation went for another half an hour with me trying to tell her that’s its ridiculous to get worked up just because my flat mate is a guy. Tried to tell her it means nothing. Nothing.

So, this is our culture, tradition, which reduces human beings to a dick and a pussy, that’s all we stand for, my pussy and your dick cannot be kept in the same box because they would start fucking each other for no rhyme or reason. Two pussy however can happily stay in the same box cause they can only brush against each other and not fuck, two dicks can also stay together cause they can only hold hands and sing songs but not fuck at the apparent side. Oh, some buggers do fuck from the not so apparent side but we shall nail them down soon, those criminals committing ‘unnatural offences.’

This culture accords much higher value to a set up called ‘a girls hostel’, where I presently stay, where a woman double my size goes about the entire house wrapping a tiny towel around herself barely protecting her assets, where 3 of us girls sleep in the same room with 2 sleeping in beds which are attached cause the room is too small. In the middle of the night while having those wet dreams when one of them touches herself, I who is awake writing this blog have to see that and be calm. Another day I have to wake up all of a sudden by strange noises, when the other roomie breathes heavily over the phone and whispers and moans while talking to her boyfriend.

But all that is ok cause we are all pussies. The world outside this room is happy we are not fucking each other the apparent way.

I wanted to tell mom, I bloody slept under the same blanket all night with a guy and we didn’t touch each other, nothing has to happen between a dick and a pussy, if nothing has to happen.

Mom actually has a very progressive mind and dad loves me too much to be upset with me for too long. So I know they will be ok. Specially if she visits Bangalore and meets my friend, my flatmate, she will be absolutely ok.

But what worries me is how would they react when I would actually start living in with some one, or when I would tell them I want to be a single mother.