Conversation with mom

Conversation on Gtalk…

(Note mom’s typing speed is one 100th of my speed, so I got edge over her while arguing, by the time she frames one argument and types it out I have said 5 more arguments. The conversation was in Bengali am giving the translated version)

Me – Mom, when do you plan to come down to Bangalore? am planning to take a flat you can come after that and stay for some long time.

Mom – Flat? have you seen already? how much would be the rent…

Me – would be around 8-9K have not yet seen but will start looking

Mom – 8-9k that’s costly how would u afford?

Me – will share it with a friend

Mom – who friend

Me – one amongst the close circle that I hang out with here, Ted, I told you about him, now don’t freak out at him being a guy…

Mom – of course I would freak out..

Me – why, what’s with him being a guy, and if it was a girl all was good? Can’t 2 girls be lesbians? Please mom, is there only one relationship possible between a man and a woman?

Mom – Thank god your dad is not reading all these lines, he would have died of shame reading all these, although I have always been walking ahead with changing times.

Me – Yes, there is no other option, you’d have to change with me and with changing times…your daughter is no ordinary daughter I can’t lead the plain and simple life that most people lead, I am not causing any pain or trauma to you people, am I? but I have certain principles in life, like you know the Marxist principle that maamu follows, whether it’s marriage or death you don’t do extravaganza, that way I have some feminist principles in my life which I cannot discard… mom please don’t get annoyed…

[Now pay attention, this is the climax :P]

Mom – Ok, we won’t do extravaganza, if you don’t want a pomp and show…at least you could have done a registry…

The End

Lol… Mom thought I am planning to live in with a guy instead of marrying him. The conversation went for another half an hour with me trying to tell her that’s its ridiculous to get worked up just because my flat mate is a guy. Tried to tell her it means nothing. Nothing.

So, this is our culture, tradition, which reduces human beings to a dick and a pussy, that’s all we stand for, my pussy and your dick cannot be kept in the same box because they would start fucking each other for no rhyme or reason. Two pussy however can happily stay in the same box cause they can only brush against each other and not fuck, two dicks can also stay together cause they can only hold hands and sing songs but not fuck at the apparent side. Oh, some buggers do fuck from the not so apparent side but we shall nail them down soon, those criminals committing ‘unnatural offences.’

This culture accords much higher value to a set up called ‘a girls hostel’, where I presently stay, where a woman double my size goes about the entire house wrapping a tiny towel around herself barely protecting her assets, where 3 of us girls sleep in the same room with 2 sleeping in beds which are attached cause the room is too small. In the middle of the night while having those wet dreams when one of them touches herself, I who is awake writing this blog have to see that and be calm. Another day I have to wake up all of a sudden by strange noises, when the other roomie breathes heavily over the phone and whispers and moans while talking to her boyfriend.

But all that is ok cause we are all pussies. The world outside this room is happy we are not fucking each other the apparent way.

I wanted to tell mom, I bloody slept under the same blanket all night with a guy and we didn’t touch each other, nothing has to happen between a dick and a pussy, if nothing has to happen.

Mom actually has a very progressive mind and dad loves me too much to be upset with me for too long. So I know they will be ok. Specially if she visits Bangalore and meets my friend, my flatmate, she will be absolutely ok.

But what worries me is how would they react when I would actually start living in with some one, or when I would tell them I want to be a single mother.

22 thoughts on “Conversation with mom

  1. Yes its all about it, a “D” and a “P”. Dip the “D” and make “P” pregnant. :-P even our emoticons, the smilyes that I am typing (:-D and :-P) consist of a “D” and a “P” what a realisation.

    the whole world revolves around these 2 alphabets. What other better use can a D and a P have in english language?

    A for ass, B for boobs, C for cunt, D for u know it already, E for Erotica, F for (yes you know that as well) G for G Spot, H for Horny, I for Intestine where all the sperms travel after an anal sex thinking they are travelling “up above the world so high”, J for Jobs, (hand, blow etc) K for kinky, L for lust, M for machosism, N for narcisist, O for orgasm, P for (yeah u got it right too) Q for queeny, R for ruptured vulva, S for SEX, T for the T of Copper, U for your ass, V for virgin, W for women, a lot of women, and some “wow” effect, X for the X factor and xtacy, Y for You fuck yourself (which basically means you have been dumped after a good fuck) and finally Z for those x and y chromosomes which failed to make a baby BOY or a baby Girl but made something else instead.

    so you realise now, the whole world is about Sex which makes it D.P.S and no thats is not Delhi Public School, that is Dick Pussy and Sex.

    Go on girl, go ahead. Its time to make some change nadf lets start by doing some spring cleaning…

    A flat mate who has a different anatomy and single motherhood which needs a little thinking becuase there is another life involved.

    love you, rockon

    Like

  2. wohh.. dt ws “sumthing”… sumthing cz i still m serching fr a word to encapsulate ..the “whole after effect of it”..
    reading ur blogs hve becum one of my “must do sunday activity” hehe no seriusly!!! nd nedeless to say..i enjoy evry bit of it… !! feel like going bak to my riting again.. delayed it for long now!!

    Like

  3. Thanks Hina,

    Am glad I can inspire someone to writing.. do write..its a great exercise of your mind, thoughts, helps you understand yourself and others better. And one doesn’t have to be a great writer to write…just start writing whatever comes to mind..

    Like

  4. ROTFL:-)).. I am going to tell aunty that she can actually call you on GTalk..PC to PC..This way she would definitely win the argument. No problem in having a guy as a room-mate but still shows that Females can never live alone no matter how independent they are.

    Like

  5. @ Seema

    excuse me madam..yeh kya matlab hua iska..“Females can never live alone no matter how independent they are” live alone ke kharche bhi to zyada hote hai. aap khud to dollar pound mein kamaate hai pata bhi hai hum garib log Bangalore ki mehengai mein kaise guzaar basar karte hai..

    :D

    Like

  6. @snigdha

    haddi faad daala …

    @sajukta
    sahi me in banglre to sustain a lifestyl (nt less than wat v grls deserve) .. u need sweet( nt so inteligent) , undrstnding (cn cook), caring (boy)frnds
    :))

    Like

  7. Don’t blame it on expenses betaaa.. akele rehne ke liye himmat ki zaroorat hai, hai aap mein itna dum!! Pata chale you end up doing his laundry and cooking for him. :-)

    Like

  8. @Seema

    Arre, Kuch bhi bolna zaroori hai.. Huh.. Laundry and cook for him…Puhleez…

    Himmat ko challenge mat kar thik hai na..dum ki koi kami nahi hai…expenses ka hi mamla hai.. :)

    Like

  9. @ Snigs… Thanks for giving that great glossary!!! Would give a suitable post on my blog!

    @ Sanju… It might be very rosy to think that a live in relationship or being a single mother is “revolutionary” or “unique” or “different from the crowd” and this initial feeling might lead you to feel that this is what is good.. But again, practically, this is not viable coz of many reasons.. One of the main things being society’s comments!!!

    Like

  10. Intersting to read it ..

    Feminism is something “either you think or not” – there is no gray space.

    You girls talk about how progressive you are to share a same blanket with a guy and the very next moment you go ga ga about it.

    why ?

    You dont have to prove anything , do you ?

    Like

  11. Our culture holds a great foundation so that a large building can be built on that. Any body in our culture is not a single unit. We are a group of units. We are not made of our self but also of our parents, our siblings, our friends and our innerself. These all (atleast) make a one human, we are not a thing we are a web which is interwoven. Whenever we have to take decision we have to take care of every single unit. You should take care of a ur parents too in fact u must. You can face the world but do u think your parents are strong enough to face the society when their daughter is living with a guy without marriage??

    I am not against live in or a relation like you. BUt u should also think what effect will it have on your family life and family’s life.

    This is what i believe and always follow
    Because life is not a joke

    Atul
    http://www.shugle.com

    Once when i

    Like

  12. well the same thing happened with me..I came to tokyo to work for a software company, had to move in with some gals coz Tokyo is fuckin filthy expensive..now my mom threw tantrums when she came to know abt it..my girlfriend(I thought she was understanding and “educated”), she left me coz she thought i was having an orgy here…well after all this was done, i told myself “what the hell” and now i am living with 9 other gald and oh boy..am i having the fun..:)

    Like

  13. Oh My God!!!! I Simply love this post… my humour took special note of -we shall nail them down soon, those criminals committing ‘unnatural offences.’

    I found your views on sexuality somewhat liberating.

    keep the going good.

    Hurrah!!!!

    Like

  14. good trick to attract mopre hits. less deserving people always do this to attract attention. examble: taslima nasreen. good luck for ur survival.

    Like

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